Getting into a new relationship has always been a scary thing. You are not fully aware of the person you like, and you find yourself with thought doubt and negativity. Getting into a new relationship is an even bigger “no, no” if your last one ended a bit rough. In other words, there are numerous factors as to why a person, guy or girl, may feel uncomfortable with a new relationship. Now we don’t know about you, but the majority of the people in the world would like to have a healthy relationship even if it is a few days old. Being constantly nervous and stressed out doesn’t sound appealing to most.
The good thing here is that all of these somewhat obscure feelings that you are having about your future relationship are caused by your own insecurities and looking down on yourself as a desirable individual. You need to up yourself in your own eyes, have some confidence.
Here we are going to let you in on a few steps that you need to take whenever you’re stressed or anxious going into a new relationship.
Step One:
The very first thing you need to do is discard this presupposed notion that there is a “right way” of doing things when you’re in a relationship. There is no one universal way to text your partner, there is no 101 of how to make them happy, and there is no wrong way to kiss your partner. People are way more complicated than that, they have their individual preferences that are going to differ from others.
Even you might have a specific way, time or position that you like sleeping in that your man/woman won’t like as much.
That doesn’t mean that one of you is wrong in any regard. And for heaven’s sake don’t get yourself caught in the whole, “how long before I should text him/her back” bull crap. You should be free to act as you are in a relationship, isn’t it the whole point of being in a relationship to have a person in your life whom with you can share something personal and special? Make jokes, don’t over think what you do and don’t over think what they do as well.
Step Two:
Don’t over involve your friends in the relationship. Your friends don’t mean any harm however that doesn’t mean that sharing intimate details about your relationship, a thing that is supposed to be private, with your friends will be appreciated by your lover. Don’t go running to your friends every time something terrible happens.
Don’t have group sessions critiquing your partner with your mates. You are an adult, as such, you should be making the decisions.
We do agree that friends may offer some valuable advice, but that doesn’t mean you can cross the line. No matter what, some things are not to be shared even with your best friend. If you always judge your partner, you are not going to have a healthy relationship. Keep in mind that your relationship does not have the same emotional involvement for your friends that it does for you, especially if it is a somewhat new one.
Step Three:
Let’s make up a scenario here, you are on a date with a potential lover, and everything is going quite well. They are funny, they are absolutely stunning in the looks department and what do you know they seem to be into you just as much as you are into them. Now that you have this picture in your head try fitting this question into it; “how many people have you been with?”
Because of course, everyone wants to know that don’t we. It doesn’t ruin the perfect evening we have to simulate a few seconds earlier now doesn’t it? We do hope you caught the sarcasm there.
Asking about past partners is awkward, the other person can feel you judging them, and you end up comparing yourself to their previous lovers. Inquiring something like this does a significant amount of damage to the first impression you had of the other person or vice versa. You are at the start of the relationship, and you don’t know the other person that well, you are bound to make an undesirable imprint of them with such information.
Step Four:
Be yourself, don’t try to change your personality if you feel that the other person might like it better. You have to let the other person know who they are getting into a relationship otherwise their expectations from you will not be fulfilled. Or, you will always be struggling to keep up the ruse. Either way, you will face a lot of stress trying to keep up the relationship; while they will have no idea what’s wrong.
If it is to happen, it will don’t force it. You will regret doing so in the end.
Step Five:
Don’t worry about love. Whether you fall in love or not is not your concern. Especially not if you’ve just gotten into the relationship. Don’t worry about a lifelong relationship or growing old together. Just focus on what you have right now. Build trust, have fun, craft a bond with the other individual. Find out small things about them that you might’ve missed.
If it were not the right one no worries, you would find someone. And till that revelation or the declaration of love what you need to focus on is just being in the relationship, that’s all.
