Don’t laugh at the title of this article. Don’t be so naïve to think that being in a relationship with a serial narcissist is going to be easy for you. You would be surprised at the many harmful things that you do to yourself when you get intimate with a narcissist. And you can’t really fully blame yourself whenever that happens. You are the victim in this situation. And the only reason that you’re in such a terrible place right now is that you have somehow attached yourself to someone who is downright destructive and toxic. And the worst part? They really get a kick out of tormenting you and bringing a lot of chaos and madness into your life.
Once you are able to discover these common toxic dynamics that narcissists employ in relationships, you will be better equipped to defend yourself from them. And you’re going to need to have some kind of plan for yourself to get out of the unfortunate situation that you’re in. You’re eventually going to need to walk away from this relationship. You’re going to need to burn that bridge, walk away, and never look back. And the better you are able to understand a narcissist’s tactics, the better off you will be in handling them.
The one thing that you have to know about people who are dealing with personality disorders is that they are very likely to accuse you of the many flaws that they are guilty of exhibiting as well. This is a kind of defence mechanism that they have to suppress their inner insecurities and vulnerabilities. They will try to project their bad selves unto you so that they can keep on seeing themselves in a good light. And this technique is also a double-edged sword in a sense. It can convince you to think that you are in the wrong; that you have things to be guilty and sad about. It will also be designed for you to believe that you are deserving of all the bad treatment that they are giving you.
The best way you can protect yourself from this kind of tactic is for you to actually shun these comments and musings. You have to convince yourself that what they’re saying isn’t true and that you are always deserving of respect and proper treatment. You can’t buy into the projections that they’re trying to feed you because you will be letting them win if that’s the case. Instead, try to call them out on what they’re doing and make them see that you’re on to their games. Let them know that you won’t allow yourself to play the role of a victim. Let them know that you’re serious about standing your ground and making sure that you’re not playing around in this relationship.
If you don’t keep yourself guarded, your tormentor is going to find a way to make you apologize for things that you shouldn’t even be apologetic about. You will be guilted into believing that everything that is going wrong in the relationship is your fault; and here’s the kicker, your narcissist partner is going to believe all of this too. They are somehow going to buy into the whole notion that they’re perfect and that they can’t do any wrong. And that’s why they will be quick to pin the blame on you. If something goes wrong in the relationship, they won’t think for a second that it’s because of their own behaviour. And obviously, that’s why they will turn their gaze on you. And they are going to make you feel sorry for all the unfortunate aspects of the relationship even though you really aren’t the one to blame.
You have to know that a narcissist isn’t really going to find much success if people just take a stand against them. The more that people are aware of how they act and how they wreak havoc on the lives of others, the narcissist is going to fail miserably. And that’s why the narcissist tends to be very judicial when it comes to choosing their victims. They always know how to identify their prey. They always choose the ones who are gullible and weak. They always destroy those who are already insecure and vulnerable.
And that’s why you have to always be strong. That’s why you always have to be the one who is on the defensive mode. You need to protect yourself against the advances of the narcissist. And that all starts with making sure that you understand his game plan, identify his advances, and cut ties with him whenever he tries to get cosy with you. There should be no room in your life for people like that anyway. It’s the best thing that you can do to actually protect yourself.
