Stop looking for the perfect relationship & start learning how to love
Don’t look for a perfect relationship, it never works that way
This idea of a perfect relationship that we all have made up in our head is the reason behind so many unhappy and unsatisfying relationships. You may have all the ingredients of a good relationship yet you look past them when you compare your relationship to others. Despite having all the qualities of a healthy relationship and an amazing partner, you might not even acknowledge them in the quest of a perfect relationship.
Perception of a perfect relationship
Notice how people are always citing relationship goals in various media, and what do they all have in common? They always talk about people who are remarkably different than them.
For some of us it’s the celebrities that we idolize. Since they don’t have the luxury of keeping their lives private, you can keep up with potentially everything that’s going on with them, including their relationships. Their romantic as well as extravagant gestures and the courtships catch wind. We desire the kind of romance they appear to enjoy, the love that they share and the bliss they have found in their relationships. And if these relationships fall apart, we’re consumed with the how’s and why’s of the subject. We’re oblivious to the kind of stress they have to deal with considering each and every move they make is being observed and talked about. The breakup should be proof enough that there is in fact no such thing as a perfect relationship, because even that seemingly ideal relationship came to an end. But after a while you stop dwelling on the infamous breakup and find another relationship to obsess over.
While on the other hand there are those of us who are a little pragmatic and tend to understand that we can’t have what those icons have or had. But that does not mean we don’t have our own standards for comparing our relationships with. We most certainly do! It’s either your friends or colleagues or neighbors or someone whom you think has the perfect relationship and exactly the kind of relationship you want for yourself. Just because they’re always smiling or making it look effortless doesn’t mean that they’ve never had any disputes of any sort. They might have had relationship troubles you don’t even know of. And since you only know of your own issues you end up believing that a perfect relationship isn’t bumpy even in the slightest.
The reality of long-term relationships
Those of you who are or have been in long-term relationships would agree that it’s not always rainbows and butterflies. And it’s the tough times that bring people closer together and make the relationship stronger than ever.
Some of us are under the false impression that there are only certain hurdles you need to get across in a relationship to reach the point of perfection. And after you’ve reached this point there are going to be no struggles and you’ll never have to worry about another thing again.
This is not the case. People as well as situations are always changing and you need to mould your relationship in the light of these changes. You constantly need to keep working in a relationship to make it everything you want it to be and to make it last.
Instead of focusing on attaining a perfect relationship, focus on attaining an ideal love. The kind of love that helps you grow, fulfills your needs, and fills you with content. Keep in mind that it won’t always be the way you or your partner wants it, so you must learn to compromise. As long as you’re with someone who’s worth the trouble and sacrifices, you won’t mind the obstacles you’d have to face.
Ignore the standards of an ideal relationship set up by the society. They don’t share your situation and they don’t have to deal with the things you do. There is no such thing as a perfect relationship. Work with your partner on any flaws that may be present in your relationship. Love and cherish your partner for who they are and the impact they have on you.