You shouldn’t be listening to those people who keep on telling you to “stay single until you meet a guy who is like this” or “never settle for a partner who can’t love you in this manner.”
That’s terrible advice and you should never follow it.
The thing about dating in this modern age is that you’re always taught to have a lot of boundaries. You are always encouraged to follow a very specific set of rules. You are told to stop going out and dating people because you shouldn’t be settling for the wrong people anyway. You’re told that you should just give up on the people who you feel like you’re only settling for.
And yes, it’s true when they say that you should never really settle for someone you’re truly not meant to be with. However, you shouldn’t be so deluded to think that “the one” is out there and is just going to fall into your lap someday. That’s definitely not how love works. And that’s definitely how you’re going to find happiness in love with a person.
Admittedly, there is some beauty behind the concept of saving yourself for the one person who you know you’re going to be spending the rest of your life with. There’s something so romantic about just waiting and being patient until the one that you’re meant to be with comes along and sweeps you off your feet. But it’s also such a nonsensical way to go about finding love in your life. It’s very constraining, limiting, and shackling.
How do you expect to find the right person for you unless you actually go around and date different people? How do you expect to know how to go about love unless you experience it for yourself and learn from your mistakes? How do you expect to know what it is you’re looking for in love unless you go out and find out what you don’t like in relationships?
There is no possible way for you to figure out what you want out of relationships unless you go out and experience real relationships for yourself. You have to understand how you would work in a relationship and that requires on-hand experience. Sometimes, you need to walk, stumble, and fall a few times before you can actually get the hang of things.
A relationship isn’t something that you just fall into and you expect to know how to do everything properly right away. You aren’t always going to know what to do. In fact, a lot of the time, you’re always going to have to figure things out as you go along. It’s always a learning process. And how can you expect to learn how to make relationships last if you just keep on “staying single” until you meet the one? How do you know what “the one” is going to look like unless you know what all the wrong ones look like?
Never be afraid to fail in a relationship. Failure is not something that should cripple you and keep you down. Just because you are afraid of failing in a relationship doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t be getting in relationships altogether. You shouldn’t be afraid of making mistakes because these can all be taken as learning experiences. You shouldn’t be afraid of screwing up in a relationship because these have valuable lessons that you can use for yourself in any future relationships.
Love is not a perfect sensation. And it doesn’t require perfection from you either. Love’s imperfection is also what makes it so beautiful. Love’s imperfection is what makes it feel more real.
Falling in love doesn’t mean that you are going to be destined for a smooth walk in the park in a life of perpetual happiness. Even in a relationship with true love, it’s going to be filled with a lot of potholes, broken paths, and broken hearts. You aren’t always going to have an easy sail. But it’s still important that you learn the value of fighting on. It’s still important that you understand the value of endurance, persistence, and resilience in the midst of adversity.
And these are all things that you can learn if you are brave enough to go out and date. You have to stop waiting for love to just fall into your lap. You have to go out and take it for yourself. You have to make sure that when it’s time for you to fall in love, you are ready to do so.
