These days, more and more people are becoming more aware of the idea of narcissism; and the destructive tendencies that narcissists can exhibit in a relationship. A lot of times, narcissism can be something attributed to someone who is self-centred and individualistic; someone who is only ever really thinking about their own personal needs and benefits. Other times, narcissism is attributed to people who lack a sense of mindfulness for their surroundings; people who don’t really think about the feelings and overall welfare of those around them.
Whatever the case, you really need to know that narcissism is a far cry from sensitivity and empathy. A lot of narcissists will excuse their behaviour by saying that they are just being ruthless and hardworking; that they are just being resilient and persistent in the pursuit of their goals and dreams. And to their credit, there is some truth to what they’re saying; however, it doesn’t necessarily make their behaviour justifiable. The real truth is that genuine narcissism is a very serious personality and mental health disorder that needs to be treated. It can generate a lot of toxicity and dysfunction in any kind of intimate relationship, and that’s why you always have to be careful about getting into a relationship with a narcissist.
Heed this warning: it’s only after you’ve experienced being in an intimate relationship with a genuine narcissist wherein you will feel the emotional trauma and chaos that will take over your life.
You have to understand that getting into an intimate relationship with a narcissist isn’t going to seem at all bad when it’s all fresh and new. In fact, it’s going to be quite the opposite. The narcissist is going to be very charming, passionate, intense, and exciting – and you will fall victim to the lure of their charisma. You’re going to think that you’re finally meeting the person who really gets you; someone who is able to connect with you in ways that you’ve never experienced in your whole life. And it’s going to be quite an experience for you. t’s going to be very exciting and you won’t be able to contain yourself. Everything is always going to seem so fine and dandy at the start, and that’s exactly how they’re going to hook and reel you in. They know just the right strings to pull and the right buttons to push to gain your trust; and from then on, you will be helpless to their advances.
During the early stages of the relationship, the narcissist is going to treat you like some form of deity. They will put you on a pedestal and they will shower you with all sorts of praises to beef up your ego and make you feel better about yourself. They will engage in constant communication with you. They will open up to you about the things that they most admire about you. And they will let you know of just how significant an impact that you have on their lives. This is their way of getting you to place your trust in them. They will flatter you with so many flowery words to the point that you end up feeling like putty in their hands. This is a common technique that a lot of narcissists use and it’s called “love bombing”. What this technique aims to do is to compromise your defences and leave you in a state of emotional dependence on them. You will get so used to the amount of attention and validation that you’re getting that you will end up missing it when it gets taken away from you. You end up becoming dependent on the narcissist.
And once they know that they have you succeed in their grasp, that’s when all the destruction is going to take place. They will unleash some very systematic methods of manipulation and abuse on you. And they will be done in such a way that will render you paralyzed and defenceless. And that’s why it’s important for you to be aware of these harmful techniques so that you will be better able to defend yourself from them in the future. Here are the three harmful ways that a narcissist can cause damage to you in an intimate relationship:
After growing dependent on the praise of a narcissist, you will be left wanting for more when they make you feel bad about who you are. They will make you seem like you are worse than you actually are in an effort to make you put more effort into the relationship.
Gaslighting is a very subtle technique that is designed for you to believe in your own craziness. A narcissist will dismiss all of your feelings and misgivings to the point where you start questioning the validity of your own thoughts.
This is a very common method of torture that narcissist will employ by involving third parties. They will find an external source of torment and they will use it against you. Usually, they will pin you against someone outside of the relationship and make you feel completely inadequate when compared to them.