You have to always remember that they can’t help that they are this way.
It can be very difficult to love a person who just plain thinks too damn much. You are left to try and humanize an almost robotic personality that seems to be allergic to any semblance of human emotion. These are the people who tend to be very indecisive because their minds never allow them to just stick to a single decision. Their brain never allows them to just commit to one idea. And that’s the struggle. They end up becoming paralyzed by their own mind. Their own thoughts end up crippling their body. You try so much to make them see that love and emotions aren’t things to fear; that they aren’t things you need to overthink. You are essentially tasks with loving a person whose own mind tends to overpower them, and things can get a little overwhelming when that happens.
When you love a person who tends to think too much, you can expect them to be constantly bombarding you with questions. Their minds are constantly racing and they will want to include you in the process. They will want to get the full picture before they can ever be sure of anything. And that’s why everything that comes out of their mouths will likely have question marks attached to them.
If you fall in love with a person who thinks too much, you just have to have faith in your love and in your relationship. You have to be open and honest as much as possible. You can’t afford to be incommunicative. You can’t afford to be impatient. You always have to understand that you are choosing to love someone who has lots of insecurities and you are the only one who will be able to comfort them through this process.
As much as they tend to think too much, you have to try to stay ahead of the curve. You can’t let yourself have any moments of weakness; or if you do, make sure you don’t let these moments affect the person you love. They have so much self-doubt and insecurity issues that they have to deal with on their own. It wouldn’t help the situation if you only added to that. You have to try your best to always be brave and strong for the both of you. It’s not enough that you whisper words of comfort and endearment into their ears either. You really need to back up what you say with actions that they can see and feel for themselves. They need to be able to witness that you will protect them from whatever harm that may come their way. You need to be able to show them that you mean what you say and that you just aren’t all talk.
You have to learn how to be empathetic and sensitive. You have to know that their mind is constantly being called to a dark place and you have to try your best to keep them in the light. You have to be understanding whenever they ask prying questions about you and your past because that’s the only way they know how to establish a sense of security and comfort with you. It will take a while for them to really trust you and you have to be patient with them in this process. They are afraid of making the wrong decision with you and that’s why they want to take a very comprehensive and meticulous approach to the relationship, but that can sometimes mean that they will move slow. You have to understand that even though everything seems so easy and simple in your eyes, they aren’t going to be feeling the same way.
You also have to always remember that they can’t help that they are this way. It’s just how their brain naturally works and they can’t control the way things play out in their minds a lot of the time. It’s almost an obsessive need for them to always pick things apart in their brain no matter how simple these ideas might seem to other people.
You also have to make sure that you never make them feel like they are being judged for who they are or what they’re doing. They are going to need constant guidance, reassurance, and validation from you throughout various points of the day, and if you really love them, you should try to indulge them the best way that you can.
But most of all, you just need to love that person unconditionally. No matter how difficult things get. No matter how much your patience is going to be tested. You are really going to have to suck things up for the sake of love. You have to make sure that this person knows that you would love them regardless of the situation. And once you make them know for sure that you love them, then you can bet that they will love you in the same way.