Here’s how to survive the 7 stages of a bad breakup.
A breakup is downright hell for people who are so emotionally invested in their love. It can be extremely difficult to navigate one’s way back into that single life after a long-term commitment to another person. So don’t fret if you’re having a particularly difficult time in getting back to being okay again. Take as much time and effort as you need. You should know that you aren’t alone and there are millions of cases throughout the course of human history that are similar to yours. Grief is not an uncommon emotion to feel after a breakup. A lot of people can even get blindsided by the sheer weight of emotion that overcomes them right after a relationship ends. The sheer weight of the surprise attack that these emotions bring can definitely overwhelm a person. That’s why it’s very important for you to just steady yourself and make sure that you are able to roll with the punches.
It’s virtually impossible for emotional people to not experience pain, disappointment, and heartache after a breakup. But what isn’t impossible is for a person to build oneself back to normal status. This process can be sped up if one fully understands what emotions are being triggered throughout the various stages of grief. You have to be able to really know what your body wants you to feel in order for you to overcome them. That’s why it’s important for you to gain an understanding on the common stages of grief that you experience after a break up. Once you get a better understanding of your feelings, it will be much easier for you to isolate them and face them head on.
Think of these stages as necessary steps in the process of getting better. Here are the stages of emotion that one experiences after a bad breakup:
1. Shock/Surprise
One of the most common reactions the human body has to pain is shock. You see it during all sorts of cases that involve severe trauma or overwhelming pressure. The body goes into some kind of trance-like state as it seeks to process the extreme conditions of the environment that is in. There is really no telling just how long a body usually stays in shock. It could take a few minutes, days, weeks, months, or in some extreme cases, even years. Just make sure that you stay calm and try to do activities that will relax and soothe you.
2. Denial
Once the initial shock has passed, you will be left to face the reality of things, but your psyche might still not be strong enough to accept reality. In your mind, you believe that if you just refuse to acknowledge the harsh truth of reality, then the truth ceases to exist. The best thing you can do about this situation is to just be honest to yourself and to others. Write down or talk about your feelings with utmost openness and honesty.
3. Isolation/Solitude
When you accept the reality of the situation, then you can start setting the building blocks for how you want to move on in life. A breakup has left you feeling very isolated and alone, and so you try to relish in your solitude. You will want to keep to yourself a lot of the time, and that’s okay. It’s just important that throughout this phase, you still maintain a sense of confidence and belief in your capabilities to overcome.
4. Anger
At this point, you’re just done feeling sorry for yourself. You are looking for someone or something to blame. There is a lot of bottled up anger inside of you and you want to unload it. The best way to deal with this anger is to channel it into healthy outlets. You can choose to express your anger to your friends; you can try engaging in a new hobby wherein you can channel your energies. Just refrain from being violent and destructive.
5. Bargaining
Once the anger dissipates, you might feel yourself falling back into limbo. You discover that all the anger you have has been replaced with some sense of longing. You think want to get back together but you’re not entirely sure if it’s the best thing for you. At this stage, all you have to do is realize that all you need is love, but that love doesn’t necessarily have to come from your ex.
6. Sadness
It’s always darkest just before the dawn and this is the stage where you have to be at your strongest. It’s been one hell of a ride so far; an emotional rollercoaster. You’ve had your high points and you’ve definitely had your low points. And now here you are at the stage where the weight of everything is crashing down on you at a single moment. At this point, what you need to do is to just surround yourself with positivity wherever you go. Don’t give in to self-destructive tendencies and always find a reason to just move on in life.
7. Acceptance
You are free. You have reached the stage wherein you are strong enough to accept that the past is past; and that the future is waiting just ahead of you. It’s merely waiting for you to reach out and grab it.
