The single most important thing that I look for in relationships is simple: security.
Because at the end of it all that’s all I ever really want to feel with someone: safe.
I just want to be able to feel like I can fully trust the person who I am with. I want to have the piece of mind that comes with being with a person who is always going to be authentic and sincere; real and genuine. I want to be in the kind of relationship where there is no room for fakeness or deceit. I don’t want to have to deal with being in a relationship with someone who forces me to scrutinize every single thing he says; someone who forces me to spot out inconsistencies in his alibis. I don’t want to have to be in a relationship where I find myself questioning everything that comes out of his mouth. I want to be in the kind of relationship where there is consistency in actions and in words. I want to be with someone who says one thing and follows it up with concrete actions. I just want to be with a person I can give my heart to with utmost confidence; someone who I know would never do anything to harm or betray me.
All I really want is to have the knowledge and confidence that a person is actually deliberately making the conscious choice to be with me on a daily basis. I don’t want to be in a relationship with someone who only uses me for the material pleasures that I can provide them. I don’t want to be in a relationship with someone who only wants to be with me for the novelty of it all. I don’t want to be in a relationship with someone who is only looking to attach their name to mine. I want a relationship that is based on real and raw love; the kind that only gets better over time. This is the kind of love that is unshakeable and unsullied by hidden motives and ill intentions. I want to be in a relationship with someone who I know will stay with me during the bad times and the good. I want someone who is going to choose to be at my side even when I’m being totally unreasonable; even when I’m letting my emotions get the best of me. I want someone to still be there for me when I wake up even though I lashed out at them the night before. I want to be with someone who accepts the fact that I am human and that I can have a few off days every once in a while. I want to be in a relationship with a person whose heart I don’t have to compete for anymore. I want someone who is going to give me all of their undivided attention; someone whose eyes I won’t have to worry about if they ever start to wander. I want someone who makes a dedicated choice to be with me after having seen all of who I am; after knowing where I stand in life. I want someone who needs to be with me just as much as I need to be with them. I want someone who makes me feel safe and secure as I lie in their arms.
Love, of course, is the foundation for any great and successful romantic relationship. But love is so dynamic. Love is always changing. Love is adapting. It is constantly evolving. Love is unpredictable and sometimes, it can bring a lot of instability. But when you’re in a relationship that makes you feel secure about your place in it, then not even the shakiest of circumstances will be enough to rattle you. Having a good love is great. But having a good love resting on a strong foundation of security is what I really want for myself and for my relationship. Because when security in a relationship comes crumbling down, not even love will be enough to save it from itself.
So yes, I still want someone who will be able to make my heart skip a beat. I still want to be with someone who can sweep me off my feet. I want someone who will make my days be filled with sunshine and rainbows; and my nights full of stars and comets. But more than anything else, I want to be with someone who will be able to kill off all of the insecurities that live and breed inside of me. I want to be with someone who prevents me from second-guessing myself and the relationship. I want someone who makes me feel sure and certain about where the relationship is going. I want someone who stays consistent even when everything around the world is changing so fast. I want someone who can give me security.
