A lot of us can get consumed with the idea of finding “the one” we’re meant to be with for the rest of our lives. And in that obsession, we can forget to really think about the difficulties and challenges that come with making that dream a reality. You have to understand that the odds are stacked against you. The chances of you finding that one perfect person for you are really slim. And it can be very difficult to figure out if the feelings that you have for someone are real when you’re just starting to date them – and vice-versa.
You don’t want to be wasting your time by getting hung up over a guy who isn’t interested in you; a guy who is NEVER going to be interested in you. This is the scenario: Maybe you run into a guy on a chance meeting; and you two just hit it off. You have a really steady conversation and he seems really enthusiastic about talking to you. You get your hopes up – and then suddenly, his girlfriend walks into the room and introduces herself. He wasn’t flirting with you after all. He was just being friendly. Maybe you are on a date with someone. The wine is flowing and the food is all gone. You have been talking for hours and hours.
You end up going back home and you talk more and more. You don’t have sex. You just talk the night away until the wee hours of the morning. You know in your heart that you have a real connection with this guy. He leaves just as the sun comes up – and then he never calls you up ever again. What? You were so sure that these men were flirting with you. You knew in your heart that they were making moves on you. But then you discover that they weren’t after all? What were you missing? How could you have been so blind?
This happens way too often and you shouldn’t be beating yourself up over it. You shouldn’t be so ashamed. There are so many people who wrongly read a romantic situation. A lot of us are guilty of making something out of nothing – of forcing romance where it doesn’t exist. But you still can’t seem to shake the question from your mind: why is it so hard for you to tell if men are really flirting with you or not? Well, first off, you have to remember that men and women are wired very differently.
You aren’t always going to be on the same page as far as communication is concerned – especially when you don’t know each other too well. So that’s why it really pays to know if a guy is really flirting with you or not. You need to be able to read the signs accurately so that you don’t end up making a fool of yourself once more.
1. He really makes a point to pay attention to the things that you say to him.
He makes a genuine effort to listen to you and to really hear out whatever it is you’re telling him. He keeps mental notes of the stuff that you say to him.
2. He compliments you about a physical attribute that you have.
Studies have shown that physical attraction is really the most common kind of attraction in the early stages of a relationship. So if he notices something about you that he likes in the physical sense, then that’s a good sign.
3. He acts all fidgety and awkward when he’s flirting with you.
Don’t make the mistake of thinking that guys who flirt are always going to be smooth and confident. A lot of the times, they’re going to mess things up with their awkwardness and anxiety.
FINAL WORDS OF WISDOM
Hopefully, you now have a better grasp of telling whether a man really is flirting with you or not. It’s all really about equipping yourself with the knowledge and making yourself aware of what genuine flirting looks like. Because the truth is that there are a lot of genuinely nice guys out there; and niceness can often be misconstrued as flirting – so you really need to be careful with that.
At the end of the day, you really need to learn to trust your own instincts. You need to be able to rely on your gut to help you through these confusing situations. Don’t give in to your personal biases and insecurities. Listen to what your instincts are trying to tell you because more often than not, they’re going to be right. And if you’re lucky enough to have a really nice guy flirt with you – then hopefully, you have the courage to flirt back. Take control of the situation. Take a chance on him. Put yourself out there. You should never regret taking a chance on finding love.