The things you should and shouldn’t compromise on in a relationship

˜There are things that are okay to compromise. There are things that are not okay to compromise. Life is about learning the difference’.

Katrina Mayer

All your life basically fixates around compromise. It goes beyond romantic relationships, and isn’t always the easiest choice to make, especially in relationships. When you have really strong feelings for someone, they tend to take over your mind, and keep you from thinking straight. But compromise is essential for a healthy relationship all the same.

To be compromising, you do not always have to give into everything they say or want, or always be the first one to apologize, or always give up on what you want. It’s about finding the right balance. Where you shouldn’t bend over backwards for them, you shouldn’t be inflexible either. The struggle is real!

Here are the things you should definitely not compromise on:

  1. Your values

Set your priorities straight, well before getting into a relationship. Your values define who you’re and you shouldn’t give up on them for anyone or anything. There could be a lot of things you’d never compromise on; like your religious beliefs and practices, the importance of your family and friends, your education, career and so on. You might want to draw certain boundaries in your relationship. The things you’re and you’re not comfortable with. And most importantly what would you want/need from a relationship. All these things ought to be invariable. (Don’t let their smile weaken you!)

  1. Your dreams

We’ve all witnessed people who once couldn’t stop talking about their dreams, but as soon as they got into a relationship, not only did they stop talking about them, but their goals changed altogether. You’re still the same person and you shouldn’t have to give up on something you’ve always wanted just because of a change in your relationship status. If anything your partner should help you live your dreams. If you want it bad enough, you’ll find a way to make it happen. Don’t ever stop looking!

  1. Self-preservation

You come first; at all times and at all costs. Even when you’re head over heels in love with them, do not stop looking out for yourself. If they’re harming you in any way, it isn’t acceptable. Physical or emotional abuse, any restrictions on who you can or cannot see, or what you can or cannot do, any sort of pressure to do something or not do something, basically anything that you feel is an attempt to take control of your life. As an individual you’re entitled to do whatever you please, and see whoever you please as well. You’re also entitled to deny anything you’re not comfortable with. You’re better off single than in a relationship with a toxic person. Choose emotional and mental peace over such a relationship.

And now, the things you CAN compromise on, move on to the next page.

The things you can compromise on;

  1. How you spend your time

You both could decide on how much time you could practically spend together (you’d naturally want to spend all your time with each other, but that’s not possible), how much time you’d spend with your friends, and with each other’s friends, with each other’s families. You should also plan your dates together; an occasional surprise would always be appreciated. But if there’s something one of you absolutely loves and the other one just isn’t as into it, that’s something you could compromise on. For instance, you love going to the beach, and they absolutely hate going out in the sun, maybe go watch the sunset together.

  1. Things that change you for the better

Things like spending more time apart than you’d want to. Like going away for work or to study. You can visit of course, but the frequency depends on the schedule you two have to keep up with. Where is the good in that? Distance can either make a relationship stronger than ever or uncover the weaknesses you might have left unnoticed. If you’re really committed to the relationship and your partner, the distance would show how much you actually trust each other to stay faithful, and their absence would make you appreciate their presence all the more, and most of all, you’d realize that regardless of the miles between the two of you, you’re going to make it.

To sum up, among other things, it also takes compromise to save the relationship. But don’t overdo it. You’re overdoing it when your partner always gets to have their way, and you just stand there complying with everything they want. What about you? Don’t let them make you feel guilty for wanting to have your way with things for a change. You deserve it as much as they do. How do you know your relationship has just the right amount of compromise? You’re both improved versions of yourself from when you started out together and no one feels like they aren’t being treated right or go unheard in the relationship.

Talk to me

What sort of compromises have you made in your relationship? And how have they worked out for you? Any advice you’d want to give? Share your wisdom with me in the comments below. And as always, stay blessed and keep the love alive!

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