Make no mistake about it. Infidelity is stronger now than it has ever been. Based on a 2018 study by the Institute of Family Studies, 16% of people have openly admitted to having sexual relations with a person other than their own spouse.
And while infidelity is still fairly rampant and common nowadays, the reasons that drive the infidelity can vary depending on the person. However, there is new data from relationship experts here that reveal that people tend to cheat because they feel like they can be more honest and open with the people they are actually cheating with.
This information is based on a study conducted by Ashley Madison, a Canada-based online dating service and social networking site.
The survey also showed that women found it a lot easier to just be honest with their cheating partner as opposed to the men they are in actual relationships with.
That’s why it was so easy for them to overcome the guilt that comes with betraying a person you love. And on the other side of the coin, men said that it was so easy for them to find the gall to cheat on their partners because there happen to be so many people in this world who are open to having affairs.
At first glance, these findings can be incredibly shocking. However, if you take some time to really think about it, it makes a lot of sense.
Malice is often attributed as one of the leading causes and drivers of cheating. Sometimes, people just can’t help but give in to their carnal desires to partake in “sins of the flesh,” so to speak.
It’s also possible that a person cheats on their partner as a response to that person’s need to find a sense of meaning and fulfillment that they just aren’t getting out of their own relationships.
And sometimes, there are some people who see the act of infidelity as a challenge that they need to prove to themselves that they are capable of overcoming.
It can have very little to do with the partner they happen to be cheating with. These are all plausible explanations as proposed by an experienced couples’ therapist named Esther Perel.
“They’re finally doing something they want,” suggested Perel “Paradoxically, while they are lying to their partner, sometimes they find themselves in this strange situation, where maybe for the first time they are not lying to themselves.”
These sentiments were also echoed by renowned sex and relationship therapist Tammy Nelson. Nelson claims, “…Opening up to someone who is going through similar stress at home or talking openly with someone about what you truly desire might be a factor in sharing honestly with a potential affair partner – maybe it’s the pressure itself that takes some of the pressure off.”
Sometimes, cheating is also caused by a general lack of intimacy in a relationship. But whatever the reason, it’s always a very painful experience whenever you find out that you have a partner who is cheating on you.
It’s a different kind of pain that comes with a betrayal so brutal and ruthless. However, if you try to get to know the reasoning behind a person’s infidelity, it can sometimes help in softening the blow.
It can sometimes aid in the healing process. In fact, the more you understand one another, then the easier it might be for the two of you to actually repair your relationship and recover from the betrayal.
Anahid Lisa Derbabian, a licensed relationship counselor has suggested that there is always a chance for the relationship to work even after a case of infidelity.
“When a relationship begins with infidelity and the lies and deception around it, a couple can turn the corner and create a healthy relationship if they are ready for deeper work, such as connecting deeply with themselves and each other, experiencing healing, and very real communication,” says Derbabian.
If you are genuinely interested in preserving your relationship in spite of the cheating and infidelity, then you have to show a willingness to put in the necessary effort to do so.
You need to be able to put in the work. Derbabian suggests that you might even have to work double time if you are looking to repair the bonds that have been broken as a result of the betrayal.
And all of that is going to start with the two of you have open and honest communication with one another. Derbabian says that it’s not an impossible feat – it’s just going to be a very long and difficult road ahead for the two of you before everything can be okay once more.
