You’re just going to have to accept that that person is stuck in the past while you’re still moving forward.
The first thing that you’re going to have to understand is that moving on isn’t going to happen hastily. You’re going to be needing a lot of time and space before you can fully say that you’ve moved on. It’s not something that you’re going to be able to accomplish within a day, a month, or even a year. The reason why it takes so long for you to move on from someone you thought was going to be your forever is because you loved that person a heavy, deep, and real kind of love. You thought that this was going to be the love that was going to pull you through to the end, but it wasn’t enough. And you’re going to have a difficult time coming to terms with that fact. It isn’t going to be easy forcing yourself to forget all of the happy memories that have ingrained themselves in your heart. Deep down, you know that even though you have to move on, you’re certain that you’re never going to stop loving that person. You’re just going to have to accept that that love wasn’t enough.
You’ve probably read your fair share of articles and self-help books to help you get over this pain that you’re experiencing now. You’ve studied the steps that you need to take for you to get over this failed love affair. Unfortunately, what you read in these articles, magazines, and books aren’t always going to apply to your life. You have to understand that each situation is always going to be different and that your pain is yours alone. Yes, other people have experienced their own versions of that pain, but it’s never going to be the same kind of pain that you have right now.
You’re going to end up feeling miserable and sorry for yourself. You’re going to hate yourself for loving someone who has long been gone from your life. You’re going to think that you’re stupid to still be investing so much feeling into a person who is no longer a part of your life anymore. You’re not going to be able to control it and the helplessness is going to frustrate the hell out of you. You’re going to feel misunderstood because you know that other people are going to judge you for how you’re feeling. In fact, you might be judging yourself as well.
But you shouldn’t have to feel so scared of what other people might think of your situation. Remember that your pain is your own and you’re the only one who has to deal with it. No one has the right to judge you for how you choose to appease your suffering. You are going through a genuinely heartbreaking ordeal and no one else is going to be able to empathize with you. You can’t let your feelings be driven, motivated, or manipulated by other people. You have to grieve as you want to grieve.
While breakups can look gloriously magnificent and graceful in movies and in story books, it isn’t always going to be the same in real life. Reality just offers so much more and it’s messy. It’s never going to be clean. There are no omnipotent writers who are there to tie up loose ends on your behalf to craft a more elegant storyline. There are no happy endings that will be guaranteed to you and that’s what frightens you. You are caught in a glass case of emotion and you don’t know how to get out of it. People can see you inside; that you’re trapped. But no one has access to you but yourself.
To be honest, you’re probably never going to fall out of love with that person. But that doesn’t also have to mean that you’re never going to fall in love with another. The two need not be mutually exclusive. You can still find love, happiness, and romance in another person while still harboring feelings from your past.
You are going to have full control of how your story ends. Every choice that you make is going to contribute to the happiness that you are so desperately trying to pursue. And while the future can be bright, you are never going to neglect your past. Your past is what made you into who you are. And who you are now is going to determine the person that you’re going to become.
So stop trying so hard to forget about that person you were once in love with. You’re never going to succeed. You’re never going to forget. You’re just going to have to accept that that person is stuck in the past while you’re still moving forward. You’re going to have to respect the boundaries that time has set in place for you.