It’s important that you are able to know the difference and make that distinction. There was a point in time wherein I was still young and learning a lot about love and relationships. I was incredibly nervous and anxious about the whole thing. I was in my early 20s and I was fairly inexperienced in the field. I didn’t know what it took to make a relationship work. I had dabbled into relationships already a little bit but I never really go to where I felt like I needed to be. I never really felt like I got to experience love the way that it was meant to be experienced. And so that’s why I considered myself to still be relatively inexperienced in the field.
To me, I thought that love was going to be this magical experience that once you find it, you know that you’re in it. So I was desperate to find that experience for myself. I was determined to find love in my life; and it even bordered on desperation already. I saw so many people around me falling in love and being happy in their relationships – and I really wanted it for myself. I was jealous. I wanted to prove to myself that I was worthy of love; that love was a real viable option for me. I really wanted to believe in the power of love and relationships. I wanted to believe that there really was one guy out there for me who would treat me right and make sure that I would never be left to feel alone and disappointed.
But after so many tries, it got to a point where I was just losing hope. I had to really take a long hard look at my life. I had to examine who I was and where I stood in love and romance. I needed to review all of my needs and expectations; and I knew that I had to make a few adjustments. I knew that I had to recalibrate my goals. And that’s when it really hit me. I needed to stop NEEDING a guy in my life; I just had to WANT a guy in my life. I was approaching it all wrong. I was always going about life under the impression that I needed to be in a relationship in order for me to be happy. And that was wrong. I merely needed to find happiness in myself.
I needed to make my own happiness in my life. I had to stop depending on the love of other people for my life to feel complete. And once I realized that, finding a relationship that was right for me became a whole lot easier. And I haven’t looked back since then. So be careful. You might be making the same mistake that I did. And if you are, you have to adjust your perspective if you know what’s good for you. Here are the major differences between NEEDING a person and WANTING a person.
1. You need a man if you’re desperate. You want a man if you’re empowered.
You just think you need to be in a relationship for the sake of being in a relationship. But you should only choose to want to be with a person because you know that’s what you want.
2. You need a man if you have confidence issues. You want a man if you’re already confident enough to go after what you want.
You aren’t ready for a relationship if you feel like you aren’t deserving of being with one. Being mature means understanding that you are deserving of love at all times.
3. You need a man if you say that you can’t live without him. You want a man if you make a conscious choice to be with him every day.
It’s unhealthy to think that you would be unable to survive in life without being with another person. That’s a lot of unwanted pressure on your relationship. You still need to be independent.
4. You need a man if you think he’s going to complete you. You want a man if you want him to see the good and bad parts of you.
You don’t need a man to make you feel perfect and complete. True love is about being able to find someone who sees you for who you really are no matter how incomplete you might be.
5. You need a man if you are too concerned to say the right thing. You want a man if you say what’s really in your heart.
You would never have to feel like you have to censor yourself if you were with a guy who is truly worth being with.
6. You need a man and you’re not ready for a relationship. You want a man and you know that you’re ready for one.
When you need a man, you aren’t ready for a relationship. Adjust your perspective.
