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Moving On

Things I Learned After I Stopped Chasing Him

Abigail Renee Abigail Renee | December 2, 2023 | 3 min read

Ever been in a situation where the pursuit of someone took a toll on your happiness? Discovering that happiness isn’t a race and no one deserves all your time can be eye-opening. Feeling unwanted may not be about your worth, and understanding the difference between love and games becomes crucial.

It’s about realizing your value and waiting for someone who genuinely wants a meaningful connection.

1. No man is worthy of that much of your time

Spending every waking moment thinking about him? Guilty as charged. But here’s the reality check – no man is worth sacrificing your precious time and self-worth. I learned that my time is like a limited edition vinyl, and I can’t keep playing the same track hoping for a different melody. Time is too valuable to waste on someone who doesn’t see your worth.

2. I felt unwanted because of him

It’s crazy how one person’s actions can make you doubt your own value. I felt like a lone tree in a vast forest, unnoticed and unappreciated. But you know what? I learned that feeling unwanted isn’t a reflection of my worth but a signal that I deserve someone who sees me, appreciates me, and chooses me every single day. In those quiet moments of reflection, I found strength in the lessons from unrequited love. Each heartache taught me more about my own resilience and what I truly seek in a relationship. I realized that the journey to self-acceptance often involves recognizing my own worth, regardless of how others may perceive me.

3. Boys play games, unlike men

Life’s not a game of hide and seek. Boys might think it’s cool to play hard to get, but men know the value of honesty and commitment. After I stopped chasing him, I found someone who wasn’t afraid to be upfront about his feelings. Lesson learned: skip the games and wait for a man who’s as serious about love as you are.

4. I wanted true love and he wanted something on the side

Ever played a game thinking it’s chess when the other person is playing checkers? That’s what it felt like. I craved genuine connection and true love, while he was busy playing the field. I realized that settling for less than what I wanted only led to heartache. Now, I’m holding out for someone who wants the whole book, not just a chapter.

5. Actions speak louder than sweet nothings

Sweet words are nice, but actions are the real deal. I discovered that a guy who talks a big game but doesn’t follow through is like a dessert without any sweetness. It’s the consistent, genuine actions that show someone’s true intentions. So, I stopped falling for poetic lines and started looking for deeds that matched the words.

6. Self-love is not selfish

It took me a while to grasp this one. Putting myself first wasn’t selfish; it was survival. When I stopped chasing him, I started chasing my dreams, my happiness, and my well-being. It turns out, embracing self-love is like watering your own garden – it blossoms, and others might want to wander in.

7. You can’t change someone who doesn’t want to change

It’s like trying to teach a cat to swim – pointless and exhausting. I learned the hard way that people change when they’re ready, not when you want them to. So, instead of playing the role of a fixer, I focused on finding someone who didn’t need fixing.

8. Closure comes from within

Waiting for closure from him was like waiting for rain in a drought. I realized that true closure comes from accepting the situation and moving on. It’s an inside job. I didn’t need his explanation to validate my feelings; I needed my own understanding to set myself free.

Share Your Thoughts:

hare your insights and experiences in the comments, and let’s discuss the lessons that come with letting go and focusing on self-discovery.


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Abigail Renee
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Abigail Renee

Abigail Renee is a writer based in New York with a background in psychology and over five years of experience covering relationships, love, and personal growth. She is known for her candid, thoughtful perspective on the complexities of modern relationships, and believes that honest conversation is the foundation of any meaningful connection. When she is not writing, she is exploring new restaurants, listening to Coldplay, or rewatching her favourite sitcoms from the 2000s.