Things That Actually Matter in a Relationship but people overlook them
I’m pretty sure that most people would admit that there’s more than just falling head over heels for someone in order for a relationship to actually go somewhere. The fact is, there’s more than love and displaying affection to have a strong bond with someone. Most people don’t think practically when it comes to their partners; they tend to think with their hearts more than their brains.
Let’s admit it, when you’re in love, you tend to look at everything through a rose glass window. Even things that aren’t perfect seem to be better than words with your partner. Although, I find that adorable at times, I need to point out that sometimes we need to focus on certain things which we don’t think matter, but actually do in a relationship.В
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I don’t want to be the bearer of pretty obvious news, but sometimes you can’t rely on love to pull you through each day. Times tend to get tough and in those times, couples are tested more than they’ve ever been. If they make it out successful from the first test, they think that they can overcome anything. Focus on the word – ‘times’, its plural, hence coming out victorious once isn’t going to be enough.
I admit that supporting your partner no matter what is really important in a relationship but be honest, if they have a struggling profession and you can’t make enough to pay the bills on your own, then aren’t you supposed to be the more practical one? Most people don’t think money is important. It might not be the most important thing but I’m pretty sure it makes the top ten.
No one wants to hear someone tell them that money is important. They’ll go all hipster on you and tell you that there’s so much more. Okay, I get that, trust me I do, but you can’t deny that ‘more’ does include a certain financial standing.
2. Giving 90%
I swear to God, you need to give me a second before being so critical of every heading. 90% doesn’t mean that you have to hide your 10% deep dark secrets; it means that you just don’t have to tell them about every single detail of your life. I’ve seen a couple who give a 100% and think that they’re love is stronger than anyone else’s, but it’s actually not. It might be pretty strong but not the strongest.
Things which you know your partner needs to know should be included in the 90% and things which you know aren’t to be bothered with shouldn’t be. Perhaps an example would be best: you’re talking to a mutual friend and in a very subtle way they tell you about a certain flaw that your partner has. They didn’t mean it in an offensive way but just slightly joked about it. You go home and tell your partner that. In that moment, you can’t exactly display that they didn’t mean it to be offensive or anything, you just say ‘it wasn’t that mean or anything’ yeah well, your partner doesn’t know if it was or wasn’t. All they know is someone made a joke about their flaws.
Giving 90% isn’t restricted to communication. It also includes affection as well. Don’t coddle your partner; give them some space to breathe. Couples who are all in each other’s face all the time are also more likely to fight more.
3. Listen to what other people have got to say.
Trust me, I’m one of those people who believe that a relationship is meant to be between two people and doesn’t involve the whole world. While I do believe that, I also believe that sometimes you need to listen to other people’s concerns as well, particularly family and friends. We don’t enjoy it when people are being too critical about our relationship, we tend to blow our lid off if we think someone’s out to sabotage our relationship. That being said, is everyone out to ruin you two?
If your friends are the critical sort who find problems in the smallest of things, then don’t listen to them. But what about all the other people who tell you that your partner isn’t worth it? What if they’re someone you trust?
People can be wrong once and you’ll overlook their concerns but how many chances are you willing to give here? If they’ve seen your partner being too close to someone else and report that back to you, you don’t have to get mad at them for ‘snooping’. Sometimes, in certain places, you need to listen.
At the end of the day, it’s all up to you and your circumstances which will help you determine whether or not you need more than love in your relationship. If you have everything of the above, you’ll think that all you need is love but believe me, if any of these starts to shake, you’ll be in trouble.
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Do you think these things are essential for a healthy relationship? What do you do to keep your relationships strong? Let me know in the comments below!