Life is like a volatile element, it will react at the wrong time, leaving you to deal with the most unpredictable situations. Some people go through so much shit but I guess they are just stronger than us, they will swim right through these situations, making the most of them. While people like me, the emotional lot will be stuck in the trauma. Days after the storm had passed, I kept reliving it, over and over again. It was like a nightmare I had no control over. I had trapped myself up in a box and I was too afraid to get out of it. I cut myself, off from family and friends, actually anyone that wanted to help me. I kept beating myself up for things I had no control over. I made no effort to break through the monogamous relationship I had developed with my insecurities.В
All I needed was purpose and fulfilment in my life, I was crying one day, I was so lonely and in that moment I decided it was time to reconstruct myself, because the first person to help me would be me. The whole world combined wouldn’t be able to help me if I blocked every attempt they made. Here is a list of things I did that changed my life forever.
1. Do it for yourself
Yes, family and friends matter a lot, but you need to understand that you are special, you are important, you matter to people, and your presence makes this world a better place. You need to acknowledge the fact that you cannot be benefitting in any of these ways if you keep yourself locked in the handcuffs of misery.В Change requires perseverance, time and hard work; nothing is easy, but keep in mind, nothing is impossible either! You just need to find the strength within yourself to make a difference.В
2. Let People Help You!
You need to let people in, you need their help, let them help you. They are not giving you favours because they pity you. They’re there for you because they care! Life is moving with such a pace that only people that actually care will stop by to give you a helping hand. So stop pushing people away before they turn their back on you for good. So let yourself loose and accept help.
When I finally let my friends and family help me, I was on the road to recovery in no time. My partner gave me the confidence to break through and my parents gave me support. During my road to recovery, I had a breakdown. My mother came to me and said, even if you lose everyone, you will always have me, I will always be by your side’. These words were enough for me to push through the end of this.
3. There is no Shame in seeking medical attention
If you have the slightest feeling that you are feeling depressed or are on the onset of depression, go see a medical expert. There is no shame in it; people go to them all the time. They will definitely help you get your life back on track! The best thing about them is that they aren’t judgmental and trust me, in such a time, it is the number one thing you will need.
I went to a therapist, the best words she gave me were people make mistakes, bad things happen and it’s okay, you are not a bad person for what you did and it wasn’t your fault’. It is common sense, I knew it deep down, but these words coming from someone without judgement meant a lot at that time.
4. Block negativity and let positivity in
You will need to block negativity out of your life; I had this friend, she would discuss the events of my trauma over and over again, she soon began to seem more like a sadist and less off a friend. You need to block negativity out and so did I. I changed my number and disconnected with every person that made my experience worse. I opened my heart to love again; I went out on dates with my partner.
I started putting on makeup, wore nice clothes, in short, I did everything I possibly could to make me feel good about myself. My partner would tell me over and over again that I was beautiful which really helped me reconnect with life and turn into a better and stronger person. I was living life again.
5. Think of three impossible things to do everyday
Be optimistic; think of three impossible things to do every day. Break out of your comfort zone. Set daily goals, achieving them will definitely boost your self-esteem and give you a sense of fulfilment and that’s exactly what you need!
Eat a lot, this might not be the healthiest piece of advice, but I can always rely on my bucket of ice cream if things go wrong. Don’t let your insecurities trap you! Step out, shout do whatever the hell you want because it’s your life and you are the boss!
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What did you do to heal? What helped you come out of the darkness? Let me know in the comments below. And as always, stay blessed and keep the love alive!