Life isn’t fair, it’s just a coin toss and you never know what side you will get despite how hard you struggle to be on the right side of things. Sometimes, you are cheated on by fate and sometimes you get cheated by your own emotions. Emotions that you have guarded throughout your life and yet somehow, someone has found a way to shatter them into smithereens.
There is always someone you encounter in your life that has started a rebellion inside you. He or she has left you fighting with your own insecurities and cracked open your skull. You lose your mind thinking what could have been and what you could have done right to make things work. It’s time to stop fighting and start forgiving yourself.
One of the hardest things to do in life is to look at the person in the mirror and tell him that I’m sorry. I made you go through hell because I thought it was you who was the cause of tragedy in my life but you were only trying to move through an agonizing time just like I was. You needed the same support that I did but I disappointed you by always holding you culpable and punishing you with self-hatred day in and day out.
If you ever feel lost after being cheated on, here is some advice that I have amassed over the years that will help you out.
1. You are at war with Mortals like pain and depression- Not even did they find the elixir of youth
Sometimes, the pain makes you suffer to an extent that you have suicidal thoughts in your mind. I can understand that because we have all gone through such episodes and at these times, no kind words will ever help you out. No matter what anyone says, they will not be able to get through to you. The pain and emptiness and the hopelessness will form a deadly alliance and continue to besiege you in the darkest hours of the night.
In times like these, you need to accept that you are at war with yourself. You are not at war with someone else’s inflicted pain or someone else’s mistakes. You are at war with your current state. Wars aren’t won by weak men who aren’t prepared to accept the harsh realities of life.
I was always told that the people who will always walk with you through their worst are the ones who deserve to be with you at your best. Well, If you can’t fight for yourself when times get tough, do you really believe that you deserve yourself at times of merriment? Have you really earned it? How can you face your inner human when you quit on him when things got bad for him?
Sometimes, I sit and I reminisce all my pain and suffering and I smile at it becauseВ I survived it all and now that I’m free from all that in the present I think I truly earned it andВ I wouldn’t feel the same if I didn’t have that harsh times in my life. – Continue reading on next page
2. Stop finding reasons to stay stuck in your present state
Sometimes, I just want to be said, I want to feel the pain because I want to feel something, I want to feel alive. I’m empty and there is nothing to look forward to in life so I intentionally open the journal of my past and pluck out these woeful memories and jerk tears endlessly. Sometimes this is good.
However, when someone cheats on you and every day you think about the reason why it happened to you and what you did wrong and how could the other person betray you despite all you did for them. Will it ever happen to you again? Because, well you did everything right, you went to great heights to make life easier for them but still betrayal was the aftermath so what now?
You need to stop asking yourself these questions immediately because all they are doing is making your present a living hell. You need to realize that these questions will never give you answers because the truth is multifaceted. What might be true for one person might be false for another.
What you experienced with this person might be completely different with another lover. You might be completely closed to someone else in the future and they might love you with all they’ve got. Life is fickle and it is full of surprises. You need to make sure that you keep yourself open to these surprises.
3. Hatred of any kind will never let you find inner peace
Hatred poisons you as long as you have it within you. It can be quite disastrous from you. There are two kinds of hatred, self-hatred and the hatred we have for another person.
Self-hatred is one of the worst kinds of hatred and after being cheated on, it is something that is detrimental to your mental health. I have known people who have faced self-hatred all their lives and ultimately have lost the will to live.
We always like to single ourselves out from every situation to make ourselves feel special even when it comes to pain. That is the wrong thing to do. There is always someone in the world that has gone through the exact same things we have gone through and he has triumphed and gotten out of it.
The color of his skin hasn’t helped him achieve this feat but it was the underlying will and determination and perseverance, he never let die that helped him in the time of need.В – Continue reading on next page
4. You need to learn to love someone other than a Lover like the little things in life
You have given your whole world to you lover and still ended up being cheated on. After that, it becomes very hard to get over them because you have forgotten to love the little things in life because all you have done is given your entire love to that one person you cared the most about and now it’s hard for you to love anything else.
You need to stop being selfish and thinking about your pain all the time. There are a lot of people around you who are going through a tough time and they might need you and your attention but how can you be there for them when you are stuck in this debilitating state? How can you be strong for someone when you are not even strong enough for yourself?
I understand, things take time but the best cure to heartbreak is to try to love someone other than just a potential lover. Love the food you have in front of you or the person who made it for you. Trust me, it will help you in the long run, no matter how foolish you think it sounds.
5. You need to master the art of failure
It’s so easy to deal with success. Whenever we are a successful, we enjoy ourselves and have a party with our friends and have a great time but all our lives we never learn to cope with failure. We never really realize that failure is a symptom of success.
I bet you have never ever thought of failure as a symptom of success because if you did, you would be happy with the failure rather than being bogged down about it.В – Continue reading on next page
6. Let go!
In the end, our whole life becomes an act of letting go. Life moves on and you can do nothing to stop it. You can either walk with it or you can choose to be left behind. You need to let go of the heavy luggage at every stop to keep up with the pace of life.
You need to let go of the pain and suffering and the hard times you have faced in your life in order to look for the things that await you in your future. If you don’t let go you will never be able to give the same chance to the person that cheated on you. Maybe this new person deserves the chance you gave to someone else and by not giving the same amount of love to him, you are making a grave mistake. As long as you don’t let go of your past experiences, you will never be able to find something that will give you hope. Hope is a dangerous disadvantage but life is all about taking risks.
It’s always better to take risks than to be safe. If you haven’t felt the thrill of plunging into something, you’ll never know what it’s like to have lived. There is no fun to be on the safe side of things. Experience the things that matter most in life. Dare to love as it is one of the most courageous things to do.
7. Don’t blame yourself for everything.
In the end, I would just like to say that all our life, we waste a lot of our time punishing ourselves just because of the mistakes someone else made. We always blame ourselves for the unpredictability of life and this irrational thought process not only poisons our mind but also makes us more miserable than we already are.
Instead of making things hard for ourself, we should try to make life easier for ourselves at least. If we don’t do that, the no one will. We should stop feeling sorry for ourselves and stop victimizing ourselves because that’s never going to help our cause.
I just want you look the beautiful person in the mirror and tell him that he is destined for greater things in life. When you start putting trust in yourself and start believing in yourself, the whole world does not have the power to bring you down.
I have seen fear cower in front of the will of great men and they were no different from you. They were mortals, flesh and bone and still despite all the odds, they changed their fate and conquered the secrets of life. You can be one of them. Your spirit has the power to subdue every betrayal.