Things You Do When You Argue That Are Toxic To Your Relationship

Arguments happen in a relationship. There is just no getting around that fact. You aren’t always going to be in agreement with your partner every single time. You aren’t always going to be on the same page. And that’s just completely normal. Even though you get into a relationship with one another, you still maintain your individuality. And occasionally, you are going to clash. You are not going to see eye to eye. It happens to even the strongest couples out there.

However, the strongest relationships are always the ones who know how to manage and handle their conflict effectively. The strongest relationships aren’t the ones who never find themselves in arguments. They’re just the ones who know how to argue the right way. And if you’re genuinely interested in saving your relationship then you need to make sure that you always know how to conduct yourselves during times of conflict as well.

As much as you would want to be in-sync with your partner all of the time, it’s not always going to be the case. You aren’t always going to be operating on the same wavelengths. You aren’t always going to be immune to miscommunications and misunderstandings. You aren’t always going to be free from disappointments, annoyances, and disagreements. That’s why it’s important that the two of you figure out how to argue in the right way.

It can be very easy to get lost in your emotions whenever you are arguing with your partner. Fights have a way of making a person more emotional than usual. However, the thing with letting your emotions get the best of you during fights is that you might end up committing a few mistakes here and there that could potentially damage your relationship. That’s why you will want to keep your emotions out of it as much as possible.

You always want to stay rational and composed when you’re arguing with your partner so that you don’t end up making a few grave mistakes that could spell the doom for your relationship. Also, it’s absolutely imperative that you know what these mistakes are so that you can make a conscious effort to actually avoid them altogether.

You know how they say that prevention is better than cure? That principle definitely applies to this situation as well. You always want to make it a point of preventing yourself from committing these mistakes instead of scrambling to correct the things that might go wrong should you ever slip.

So, the next time that you and your partner actually have an argument, don’t panic just yet. Don’t fret. Keep calm and try to remember these rules. Keep a level head and always try to keep your feelings and emotions in check. Remember to always lead with love, patience, and understanding first. That is the key to resolving whatever fights or arguments that the two of you might have.

Here are a few mistakes that you need to avoid if you ever get into a fight with your partner.

1. You criticize your partner on a personal level.

Of course, a few well-placed and well-meaning criticisms are fine in any kind of romantic relationship. However, the key is always keeping the criticisms issue-based. You can’t be making your partner feel like you are openly attacking their character and their personality. You don’t want them to feel bad for who they are. You merely want to point out a mistake in what they do.

2. You talk too much without listening.

You are going to be tempted to just keep on talking and talking whenever you get into a fight with your partner. But you’re not going to be able to resolve your conflict if you don’t show a willingness to listen. It’s just as important to hear your partner out and understand where they are coming from than it is to say what’s on your mind.

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Publisert av Relationship Rules Søndag 2. september 2018

3. You hold contempt for your partner over previous mistakes and faults.

Never be vindictive in your arguments. If you have put certain issues to rest in the past, then you shouldn’t be bringing them up now. Don’t be holding on to any contempt or ill feelings in your relationship.

4. You get overly defensive when you are confronted.

Sometimes, your partner is going to confront you over a mistake that you are making and you should be fine with that. Hear them out. Don’t get overly defensive too quickly. You should never make them feel like you’re not willing to evaluate yourself based on what they’re trying to communicate to you.

5. You sweep arguments under a rug and you ignore them completely.  

And lastly, don’t avoid arguments. Don’t walk away from fights. Don’t sweep unresolved issues under a rug. These problems aren’t going to fix themselves and you can’t just expect them to go away on their own.

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