6 things you can only know about love AFTER you have been cheated on
Love isn’t always easy, it might prove to be a real heartbreaker but no matter what, it always leaves behind many lessons that help us become better in either loving ourselves or loving someone else.
There is no bigger heartbreak than cheating. It is like a sandcastle that you build at the beach. You put your heart and soul into sculpting every bit of it. When it starts to break, you immediately try and hold it together.
You give extra attention to every crack you see appearing and you get so involved in this perfect castle of yours that you don’t see this huge wave coming your way. Before you know it, every effort you made has washed out. Once the wave goes back and you see where your castle used to be, you see nothing. It is like nothing ever existed there, like it was all your imagination.
Being cheated on is kind of like that. You think everything is going so perfect and that nothing can really take this away from you, sure there are ups and downs but nothing powerful enough to completely destroy your relationship.
When you are cheated on, it is an initial blow that hurts. It is the state of denial flowed by regret and remorse but as these feelings start to fade bit by bit, you realise that it actually happened for the best that is when your minds opens up to these things that you learn about love.
1. Love isn’t always rewarding
Yes, love is beautiful and it really changes your life but often that is not the case, often love is frustrating and a constant reminder of your imperfections. This is when you love someone and you aren’t loved back equally or even a little. When you show your complete loyalty towards someone but don’t get the same dedication in return.
In life and love, we have to face situations where you feel like all your love has gone to waste and you blame yourself for being stupid and gullible. Well, don’t, don’t blame yourself for being cheated on because this situation, you are in, clearly shows who had more to give to this relationship. You were honest, you were genuine and you were loyal to this relationship so if anything, be proud of yourself for finding so much love in your heart that you gave it to someone who couldn’t do equally for you.
2. Listen to your mind at times, when in love
People who have been cheated on always say they had a gut feeling that their partners were cheating on them. Some say they caught their partners flirting or sexting etc. for fun, and they ignored it thinking it was harmless. They realise that they have let themselves be played by their partners, and they really helped them doing it by not listening or believing the hints that they could clearly see.
So when you can really see your partner is going in that direction, either make it very clear that you will not put up with it or bail out!
3. Love is not forever
As sad and hard it is for me to accept it, love really doesn’t last forever unless you keep on trying to make it stay forever. Mind it, that you both have to make this work or else no matter how much you once loved each other, one of you will find something that takes their fancy. Something that gives them that initial feeling of falling in love. So it really takes you extra effort to keep the love between the two of you ripe and fresh.
We all make tall claims and big promises, we do sincerely mean them but as time goes on and you don’t pay attention to the withering habits that made you both love each other more, your relationship starts to fall apart and before you know it, you both are helplessly falling out of love.
4. Love can happen more than once
I disagree with the popular statement that you only fall in love once. I believe you fall in love as many times as you can and want to, the difference is, how much?
You love some people a little more and others a little less but, you love so don’t be disappointed when someone you love utterly, deceives you. Know that you did not deserve someone like them who couldn’t value the kind of love and affection you had to offer. Stay hopeful! And believe that someone, someone right out of your perfection imagination will sweep you off of your feet.
Do not think if you weren’t lucky the first time you will not be lucky ever. That’s not how it goes.
5. Lust might take over Love
Again, sad yet true. Sex is a moment where you lose control and that all your senses and mind shuts down working and anything that makes sense to you is getting your needs and wants fulfilled.
It is important, in love, that the two also develop a really close bond. A bond that can, any day, take on the challenge of proving love to be the greater force.
6. People who love you might end up hurting you
It is not a perfect world and you have got to put up with the flaws. Sometimes you have got to understand and let go of the fact that people who love you the most might hurt you. They might not mean to hurt you, they might not want to but they might give in to their temptations. This is something you have got to make your peace with.
Don’t forget that when they cheat, they also learn the lesson of shame and guilt. If they truly have learned their lesson you will find within yourself the strength to forgive them, surprisingly. If they haven’t then you have learned another lesson about how sometimes you can fall for the wrong kind of person. So, lessons learned.
There are some lessons that you learn from things you never want yourselves to go through.
But we have got to go through a few things in love so we are better at knowing when true love comes knocking to our doors. Eventually, you will learn that love is still worth all the pain that it might give you.
So love and let yourself be loved!
Talk to me
Have you been cheated on? How did you cope and what lesson did you learn from it? Let me know in the comments below. And as always, stay blessed and keep the love alive!