Sweetie, you’re not alone…
You meet someone you seem to have genuine chemistry with. There is a bond and a connection there that you know is out of the ordinary. And so you want to nurture it. You don’t want to take it for granted. You want to make sure that you do everything in your power to build on what’s there. And sometimes, in your excitement, you can get sucked into the trap of just letting yourself get lost in the thick of things. You might have a tendency to grow clingy and dependent on this person. You might want to devote all of your time and energy into this person and into this relationship. You allow him to become the center of your universe. You let him become your entire world. However, you have to make sure that you don’t give in to the temptation of just losing yourself in your love. You have to make it a point to still cultivate a strong and proud individual life of your own; a life outside of the relationship. You have to do everything in your power to keep yourself from becoming the girl who just gives too much of herself to her relationships.
When you fall in love with someone, make it a point to still devote time and energy into your favorite hobbies, interests, and passions. Perhaps you might be a bookworm. Maybe you’re a fitness freak. Or maybe you’re somewhat of an avid student. Whatever the case, make sure that you never compromise the things that you are most passionate about. While it can be difficult to manage your time effectively to accommodate so many things in your life, you have to be able to strike that balance. Your relationship is going to demand a lot of your time and energy; but it should never be at the complete expense of the other things that you are most passionate about in life. Continue to hone your skills as an individual Continue to pursue your biggest dreams and goals. Work hard for everything that you want in life for yourself.
When you get into a relationship someone, you should always do your best to nurture that relationship. But that doesn’t give you any excuse to neglect the relationships that you have with your friends. Remember that your friends are there for you whether or not you’re in a relationship. And you should repay that loyalty with some loyalty of your own. Just because you find yourself in a relationship doesn’t mean that you get to ditch them. If things don’t work out between you and your man, your friends are going to be the first people you turn to for support. So don’t undermine the value that they give to your life by discarding them the moment that you fall in love with someone. And if your partner truly loves you, they would understand your need to devote some time to your friends as well. A man who truly loves you would never make you choose between your romantic relationship and your friendships.
And just because he’s the number one guy in your life doesn’t mean that he has to be the only guy in your life. You don’t HAVE to have a million guy friends. But you shouldn’t feel like you are barred from having any either. You should have the freedom to cultivate all of the friendships that you want regardless of the gender. If he’s a really great guy, the fact that you have other guys in your life wouldn’t make him feel insecure or threatened at all.
And really take your time. Don’t give in to the pressure that your partner or that the outside world may be imposing on you. You have to be moving at your own pace. You don’t have to rush into anything that you aren’t comfortable with. If you want to take things slow in your relationship, your partner is going to have to respect your wishes. They can’t pressure you into jumping right into the thick of things. They can’t expect you to speed things up even when you’re not ready yet.
And learn how to say no. Learn to stand up for yourself. Just because you are in love with him doesn’t mean that you have to constantly bend at his will. You are still allowed to disagree with him. You can’t let your fear of him leaving you cripple you into submission. Don’t allow yourself to get bullied like that. Stand up for what you think is right. Learn to deny him sometimes especially when you strongly believe in an opposite view.
And lastly, be respectful of his time and space. He might now want you to suffocate him (very few people in the world actually want this in relationships). If you really want to nurture what you have, respect his boundaries and his freedom.
