I had to move on, I had to.
Moving on isn’t always so easy. It’s never done instinctively. It’s also not something that anyone could conjure up instantly by sheer will. It’s not as if people wake up in the morning and say today is the day that I’m going to move on from you and actually do it. If only things really were that simple. But unfortunately, it just doesn’t work like that. Moving on and getting over is just really complicated. In fact, the opposite is what is probably true for most people. A lot of people wake up and just try to put off moving on from someone because they still want to cling to the hope that eventually, things are going to fix themselves.
They cling to the idea that maybe somehow, they can still make things work. They don’t want to move on because they don’t want to bring closure to something that they’re so heavily invested in. But once all of the hope starts to dry up; once all of the effort has been exhausted, it just gets to a point where people really have to decide what’s healthy and what isn’t. They really have to decide if clinging to the idea of the relationship is still something that they should be doing. This is the point where people have to start thinking about the value of moving on.
It’s a different case for so many different couples. A lot of people will have relationships that are easier to move on from; while others will have couples who are just too emotionally invested in them even though things are just far from perfect. It can be difficult to generalize as far as timing a person’s process of moving on. In my case, it was so hard. When we first got together, it was absolute bliss. We practically spent so much of our time together and we didn’t want it to be any other way. I had surely never met anyone in my life who I felt so perfectly at ease and comfortable with. I had never met anyone who enchanted me in the way that he ever did. We used to just talk almost endlessly with one another and there were never any lulls in our discussions. It’s as if our words seemed to fall so seamlessly into one another’s. it was magical. It was a sensation that I had never had the privilege of experiencing ever before.
And of course, as time went by, we continued to grow in love with one another. We practically did everything together because it would always feel weird whenever we weren’t spending time with each other. We went on so many dates; ate at so many restaurants and watched so many movies; took so many trips to the beach. We opened up to one another about our deepest and most intimate thoughts and feelings. We just had a plain understanding of one another that we couldn’t seem to find anywhere else. You always knew just how to bring a smile to my face and I always knew how to bring a smile to yours. There are so many grand moments that stand out above the rest, but I also remember all the simple and seemingly mundane moments that we had together. I remember it all.
But then the magic gradually started to fade. The novelty of our relationship started to wear off and I was growing weary, indifferent, almost irritated. You asked me what was wrong and I didn’t have the heart to tell you. I couldn’t tell you. Perhaps because I didn’t want to admit it to myself either. So I just kept quiet and I rode with the waves. I rolled with the punches. And didn’t even realize how much time I just let pass us by in the relationship. The bond was still there but the magic was gone, and I started to realize that that really isn’t how relationships are supposed to be.
I was still clinging to the idea of us hoping that someday, we could get back to where we used to be. I had that mindset going into every single day that we were together, but things just never seemed to change. Things never started to lookup, and the truth started to slowly dawn on me.
And this was how I realized that I needed to move on. I just started to accept that you were no longer contributing much value to my life anymore. I accepted that you were practically dead weight and I was doing us a disservice by just allowing things to go on the way that they were. It was when I learned to face the cold harsh truth where I finally came to the realization that I just needed to say goodbye. For the sake of you and me, I needed to move on. And you needed to do the same.