You might think that there is something just so inherently unromantic about having to schedule sex with your partner. Usually, your idea of passion, romance, and heat in a relationship might involve surprise hookups and unexpected sexual encounters. And that’s fine.
There’s always a spicy element to having sex unexpectedly with the person that you love. However, when you’re busy having to juggle working and parenting together, it’s fairly often that your romance is going to get shoved aside. That’s why you and your partner should explore the idea of actually scheduling your sex adventures. It’s probably the only way that the two of you will be able to keep the heat and the passion alive in your sex life.
Rachel Needle PsyD is the co-director of Modern Sex Therapy Institutes, and she says that scheduling sex with your partner just to make sure that you are able to get intimate doesn’t necessarily have to be as boring as it might seem. In fact, it might be one of the best decisions that a lot of busy couples can make in terms of actually preserving their relationships. When asked about it even further, she said, “Scheduled sex can help the relationship in that both partners know that their sex life is valued.”
And that’s really good news for couples who are too busy trying to keep a hold on other aspects of life. But this does come with a caveat. Dr. Shannon Chavez PsyD says that one of the worst things that you can do with your partner is to schedule your sex dates but have no concrete plans in place for it.
The next time that you get the chance to actually get the chance to take a break from work and find someone else to look after the kids, then make it a point that the two of you should get intimate. You don’t want to be missing out on an opportunity to get down and dirty with one another. And if you really want to maximize that opportunity, then it might be wise for you to heed the advice of a lot of these sex experts.
Dr. Chavez says that instead of just wanting to have sex for the sake of having sex, make sure that you put a lot of intent and meaning into what you’re doing. You don’t want to be building the pressure too much for yourselves but you also don’t want to be taking this opportunity lightly.
Take some time to talk to one another about the details of the situation so that you both know what to expect. Plan out the setting and the intentions that you have for one another. She says, “I would suggest having a setting in mind and intention around connection and play with a partner. Focus more on making time together that is free of distractions, stress, and other barriers so you can be more receptive to pleasure with your partner.”
And the next tip? She says that you need to hold yourself accountable by making sure that you do your part on time and properly. Maybe you might even set an alarm and surprise your partner to add a little more heat and excitement into it. As per the advice of Rachel Needle PsyD, “You could literally set a reminder to wake up tomorrow and initiate sexual activity with your partner… it’s important for couples to make a conscious effort.”
If you are feeling a little hesitant about getting underneath the sheets, just relax for a little bit and try to ease into it. Experts suggest that you might want to explore the idea of trying to get into the mood before you actually engage in sexual intercourse. They say, “Tell your partner what you are most looking forward to and flirt and tease them leading up to the fun.”