When it comes to the attraction between two people, a lot of us can be guilty of having deluded ideas of it. We have a tendency to think that it’s either we can be attracted to a person right at that moment or you’re practically never going to be attracted to them. For instance, you might find yourself becoming attracted to men who are cocky, arrogant, and disrespectful. And you might hate how these guys treat you. You might not like how they are whenever they’re with you. But you just don’t get it. Here’s something about a bad boy that just turns you on and keeps you interested. The seemingly “nice guys” who you know would treat you right just don’t interest you. They’re somewhat boring, even. Of course, you would want a guy who would make for a great husband in the future. You eventually want to start a family of your own in the future, and you would want someone who you can actually build a family with. However, you seem to not be attracting these kinds of guys. Why is that so? Why are you going through this kind of struggle?
Well, first of all, you have to know that you’re not alone. There are plenty of other girls all over the world who are going through what you’re personally going through right now. We are all attracted to certain types of people who make us weak in the knees. Perhaps it can be a physical attribute or something else that has to do with their personality. It’s these particular attractions that are really able to make your heart skip a beat; that take your breath away. And sometimes, they can really trigger the insecurities that you are desperately trying to bury deep down inside of you. You feel like you need to be able to put your best foot forward to make sure that you don’t scare this person away. You want o do whatever you can to win over this person’s love, attention, and affection. And this is something that has come to be known as “deprivation attraction.”
During these cases of deprivation attraction, you are able to see the red flags fairly early in the attraction, but you’re still unable to restrain yourself. And with other people, the very bad signs of these relationships aren’t exactly going to be so obvious. However, over time, after the initial attraction starts to fade a little bit, the red flags are going to reveal themselves in a more obnoxious and blatant matter. They won’t be too hard to miss when they start mistreating you; when they start lying to you and cheating you out of the relationship that you thought you deserved.
These kinds of attractions are bad; and they are painful, yes. However, it can be very hard to walk away from them. And why is that so? Well, leading experts and theorists in this field have attributed this phenomenon to the “intermittent reward” systems. During these systems, you get the occasional reward from the person you’re attracted to that keeps you hooked. And these rewards often come sporadically. You never know when they’re going to hit you; and whenever they do, you get reeled back into the relationship even when you’re contemplating the idea of walking away. It’s a way of keeping you hooked when you’re on the verge of exiting. And it’s these kinds of attractions that are just downright detrimental to a person’s emotional state. If this applies to you, then you risk being a victim of manipulation and abuse by a controlling individual.
And the way you can tell that the love that you have is going to be a fulfilling and meaningful one is if it comes from an inspirational kind of attraction. This is the kind of attraction that doesn’t necessarily come about instantaneously, and it really brings the best out of all parties concerned.
It can take a lot of time, patience, and attention to detail for you to find out if you’re really attracted to someone in the form of inspiration. In this kind of relationship, you are both doing whatever you can to further your sense of well-being. You are always concerning yourselves with trying to be your best for each other. At the end of the day, you’re always going to want the kind of love that inspires you to be good and to do better. You always want to be attracted to someone who forces you to confront the insecurities within you; someone who walks hand in hand with you as you make your way through this life.
So, when you’re just starting out to become attracted to someone, you need to make sure what kind of attraction that is. You need to make sure that you keep your heart guarded.
