Consistency is one of the most important things that you could ever ask for in a relationship. You always want to make sure that you are with someone who you can always rely on to be there for you day in and day out – especially if you’re looking in the long-term. That’s why it’s always incredibly troubling and disconcerting to be dealing with someone who is inconsistent very early on in a relationship. For some stretches, he really makes an effort to be there for you. He acts like the best guy you could ever possibly meet. And then in the days that follow, he just disappears. It’s almost as if he never even met you to begin with.
That’s always a big problem. The times that he does show up, he’s really great to be with. And you’re hopeful that he can be consistent enough in the long run that he can eventually become a guy you would love to be in a serious relationship with. But how long do you have to wait for him to stabilize himself? Ghosting is something that is way too prevalent in today’s dating culture. Because of technology, it’s so easy for guys to get closer to girls while still maintaining their distance. They are able to really get intimate with a girl without having to really commit to them. They can keep things casual while giving off the illusion that they’re really serious.
And be honest about it: when you’re texting a guy, it’s really hard to gauge whether he’s being sincere with what he’s saying or not. We live in an age where it’s so easy for guys to use and manipulate women until they’re fed up with it; and then they can just leave them high and dry when they’re done. And it’s always the girls who are left in despair. It’s always the girls who are left to fend for themselves. It’s always the girls who end up feeling confused about everything. And it still begs to ask the question: why are guys so fond of just ghosting girls? Why can’t men just bring themselves to wholeheartedly commit to something?
It can be one of the most annoying aspects of dealing with men. You can think that things are going perfectly fine between the two of you. You can believe that things couldn’t possibly get better because of how good you both have it. And then suddenly, he just leaves you hanging. But you also can’t deny that incompatibility may have something to do with it. It’s very much possible that he realized that the two of you aren’t meant to be together – and maybe you’ve just been too blind to see it. And if that’s the case, you should consider it as a blessing in disguise. At least you wouldn’t have been put in a position wherein you would have to initiate a painful breakup with him.
Another probable reason as to why he’s ghosting you is if he’s actually dating other women at the same time. Maybe he just doesn’t have time for you because he’s choosing to spend his time with other girls instead. And if THAT’s the case, you are again better off. You wouldn’t want to be getting serious with someone who is only treating you like a mere option anyway. You don’t want to have to compete for someone’s love. One other possible reason as to why he ghosted you is you probably didn’t give him what he was looking for. And this can be either a good or a bad thing for you.
Maybe he just wanted to have sex with you; maybe that’s all he ever wanted with you and you never gave it to him. He realized that he didn’t want to have to wait for you to put out. However, it could also be a legitimate concern and it might be your fault. Maybe you failed to give any effort. Maybe you failed to give him any incentive to stay with you. Maybe he saw that you weren’t showing much interest in him and you made it harder for him to want to stay with you. So what exactly do you do if the flaker walks back into your life?
Keep your distance. Make sure that he knows that what he did to you was unacceptable. Even if he had fair grievances, he should have been able to communicate these things to you. He shouldn’t have left you hanging. Show him that you aren’t going to tolerate that kind of behavior. And really show him that if he really wants to win you back, he’s going to work really hard to regain your trust. Make sure that he knows that you just aren’t someone who is going to be so forgiving of poor relationship etiquette.