Love is always all around you. It’s in the songs that you hear which are played on the radio as you drive to work every morning. It’s the subject of the movies that you browse through on your Netflix page. It’s in the intimate moments that you spend with the people who are nearest and dearest to you. Love is something that is instilled to you at an early age. And you are always taught that you have to find love with that perfect individual with whom you can have a perfect relationship.
And without love, you are convinced that you are never going to find happiness in a relationship at all.
But you have to understand that those kinds of expectations are a little overly romanticized. You have to understand that a lot of those expectations might be too idealized. These expectations might be too much to ask for. You might be in grave danger of putting to much pressure on your relationships to the point that you eventually ruin them with your unreasonable standards and expectations.
You might be in a fine relationship that is healthy and strong. But you will never be able to appreciate how good you have it if you are expecting or demanding far too much. You are always going to be thinking about everything that you could have instead of just appreciating what is already right in front of you. And if you truly want to find happiness in love, then you need to let go of these unhealthy expectations. You need to get rid of these unreasonable standards.
This what it means to love someone without expectation. This is what it means to give someone your unconditional love.
First, Learn to Love Yourself
You can best teach yourself about the depths of feelings and emotions by treating yourself well. There is no way you are ever going to learn how to love another person if you don’t know how to love yourself first. That’s why it is essential that you must first know what it means to engage in self-love and self-care. Don’t think of it as selfishness or self-obsession. Those are different ideas entirely.
Loving yourself doesn’t mean always putting your own selfish needs and desires above another person’s all of the time. It just means that you don’t compromise your needs while seeking to give love to another human being as well.
You don’t always have to readjust everything in your schedule just to please another person. You don’t always have to give up what you want just because you want to give other people what they want. And most importantly, you shouldn’t be so willing to let other people treat you less than how you really deserve to be treated. Truthfully, you need to know how to respect yourself so that you can demand that same kind of respect from others as well.
Learn to Show Compassion
A new relationship is going to be scary. You are essentially exploring into unknown territory. You are diving into uncharted waters and that’s not always reassuring. But in spite of the fear that you feel deep inside, you have to be willing to open up your heart. Yes, you want to keep yourself guarded to a certain extent. But it also gets to a point wherein you need to learn to make yourself vulnerable for this other person.
When they mess up, don’t just automatically assume that they’re out to hurt you. Understand where they are coming from and sympathize with them. Don’t be afraid of giving that person all the kindness, love, and affection that you have cooped up inside of you. When they wrong you, then learn to forgive them once they ask for forgiveness. Don’t hold on to any grudges. Don’t be keeping score.
It’s always about finding a middle-ground amidst all the clash and chaos of your contrasting personalities. You aren’t always going to want the same things. You aren’t always going to be on the same page. But that doesn’t mean that you can’t find a healthy middle-ground where both of you can find happiness in one another.
Choose Someone You Can Depend On
A relationship is always going to be built on inherent mutual trust and respect. And you must always love each other to the point that you support one another in your personal goals and your relationship goals as well. If you don’t think that you can truly depend on your partner to be there for you when you need them, then the relationship isn’t going to work. But you have to make sure that you are there for them as well.
No, it’s not easy. Relationships are so complicated. And it’s really hard to give unconditional love to another person. But hey, nothing worth having ever comes easily. And love is definitely something that is worth having.