This is how you lose her when you know that this girl is still out there. You know deep in your heart that she is still loving you with all of your heart. But you might not know is that she isn’t ALWAYS going to be there. She’s not going to stay if you continue to treat her the way that you have. This is how you will lose her even if she happens to love you with all of her heart.
You just don’t send her those texts in the morning anymore so that she has something nice to wake up to. She goes to sleep at night by herself no longer hoping for a “good night” text message from you.
She no longer anticipates random phone calls from you late at night asking about how her day went or how she’s feeling. And she has just plainly stopped expecting you to do any of these things because you have stopped giving her a reason to do so.
You have stopped making her feel like a priority in life.
You have stopped making her feel like she’s the most important girl in your world. At this point, she just always feels like she’s constantly being taken for granted. At this point, she’s always feeling dejected, undervalued, and underappreciated.
But you shouldn’t take her tolerance to mean that she’s going to stick around forever. If you continue to treat her this way, you’re going to lose her. And you will realize just how great you have it with her right now.
When you have free time, do you ever think about her? When you get a chance to get away from the office for a bit, do you give her a phone call to let her know that you’re thinking about her? She is waiting for you to get in touch with her but do you make an effort to do so? How many days do you think she’s going to allow herself to go on like this? She doesn’t want to make it seem like she is demanding all of your time.
In fact, she doesn’t really demand anything in your relationship at all. But she knows that she is deserving of so much more than you are actually giving to her. She knows that she deserves to have more of your time and she deserves to feel like she’s being made a priority. She deserves to be made to feel like she is an important person in your life. And you’re just not doing enough to give her the things that she is deserving of.
Do you even remember the last time you told her that she looked beautiful?
Can you recall the last time that you told her that you liked what she was wearing? Do you even remember the last time you just stared at your girl and made her feel like she was the only woman in the world? When was the last time you asked her about how she has been feeling? When was the last time you showed her concern for her physical or emotional well-being?
Did you take the time to ask her about how she’s doing today? When was the last time that you just gave her a hug to make her feel better about herself? Do you remember? These may seem like very little things but they actually go a long way with her. They are very important to her. They may seem simple and trivial to you, but if you don’t understand why it’s important to her, then you’re really going to end up losing her. One day, she’s going to start treating you the way that you treat her now. And you’re going to feel just how much you take her existence in your life for granted.
Have you ever gotten the sense in your relationship that maybe she feels really lonely despite the fact that you’re always together? You might be in a relationship but she still feels very much alone and ignored. And if she continues to feel this way in your love, she isn’t going to be able to take it for much longer.
She loves you but that will not be enough to make her want to stay with you.
It’s been hurting her inside to be in a relationship where she doesn’t even feel like she belongs in. It’s been killing her to know that you don’t really think it important enough to treat her better. It kills her to know that maybe she’s going to have to walk away from you at some point because she will not be able to bear with all of the pain. And when she does leave you, there is no turning back. You will have lost her forever and it will be all your fault. She loves you but that will not be enough to make her want to stay with you.
yeah but she is batshit crazy, how about that?
Because you made her that way by doing all of the above.
What if she treats you the Same? .Turn it around. I don’t it’s a she or he issue. It’s a both issue!
hi i also need help here. so me and my gaal are in the long distance relationship, and everything seemed magical until recently when the vibe just fade of with pains in it,,like i have shown her the love she deserves doing all of the aboves but didn’t receive the same energy from her,,,i know she loves me and thnk about me but i wanted to see action more rather than words,,so i wrote her a message expressing my feelings and although she said she will try her best i still feel she thnks I’m questioning her love for me, so I’ve been so into her that even when she goes offline for more than 3hrs after we have just talked i start to worry,,,I’ve been on my phone morning to night for almost 3 weeks now just wanting to talk to her,,,because that is the only thing that gives me peace, talking to her, but for her she seems to be fine with all of that,,,The girl loves me i know that for sure, but i still have this feeling that if i went off for a longer time she might lose interest and that breaks me,,so I’ve been in her dm all throughout the day to make sure she does not, she assures me she will never change her mind about me and i trust her but I’m still having the thoughts of her letting go one day,,i have even woke up today from a dream of her blocking me in facebook but instead it was her text there when i went to confirm that she was thnking about me and woke up,,I’ve been having mixed emotions of extreme love, fear of losing her and thoughts of her giving into someone else while I’m holding on,,,i need someone to advice me please,,,should i trust in the process, give her space to miss me or should i continue bugging her with love messages and affection,,,FIY my heart gets heavy when i thnk of all this and she is offline
Maybe you are reading the chapter in which you created her, you should flip back to the chapter in which you portrayed yourself in the beginning and she wasn’t crazy! Maybe that would help you understand the batshit crazy part! Have a good day!
Love u ur beautiful to me ever day I don’t want to lose u babe I need u u teach me lots of things I did even know about my self I never would have been able to figure out myself iam in love with I I need u in my life hope can I do that will fix this
seem little off there buds
she could ask him why he stopped texting her or saying i love you … because something is on his mind all day whatever struggle he is going through .. she has all the right to have these things and to feel that she has a home in his heart but sometimes life give you bumps that you can’t priorities what from what talking to each other is the solution to know what’s happening in relationship instead of assuming
When he acts absolutely miserable around me (my children and I),, his so called family, we deserve better! I won’t continue coming 2nd best to everything and everyone.. He’s like a stranger to me now, someone else can hopefully make him happy…
that’s how I feel about my situation.
deceptive….actually doing fine…….just something wrong with my decisions
I am going through the same thing with mine too. I just became disabled and can no longer work but I’m an amazing housewife who does all the cleaning inside the home. My entire career as well as even growing up has been in one former another food and beverage industry from running a restaurant to cooking, serving plating, etc. I have done it. I am a great cook. I do everything from scratch. I even bake all gluten-free because of analogy I later in life grew Nonetheless. I have to ring a server bell for him to come in from the garage to eat. I’m ignored. I’m isolated while he plays with his pool table and does his projects out there from the time. He comes home from work until he goes to bed. I have not been out on a date with him in probably three years. I have disconnected tissue disease, lupus, and fibromyalgia. I am in pain 24 seven but I don’t ever say a word I just continue to clean and cook and serve and take care of him in our three dogs bath groom feed. He thinks that putting the clothes from the washer to the dryer is helping me, but he does not folder put away any of that and thinks it’s too much of me to ask her back for some of his time, his attention that he gives his buddies every Thursday night he gives to his golfing his fishing and his pool table out there in the garage every single day at night I see him when I serve him dinner. I deserve so much better. I know my worth I know my value I know I may not be able to bring financial to the table, but I bring every freaking thing else. I’m already 1 foot out the door I can take care of myself Even when my disconnected tissue disease tears me apart. Anything is better than the giant hole in my heart.
Wow! Every point in this article is exactly how I’m feeling. I’m not able to leave right now because it’s complicated, but I think about it all the time. I think if my finances turn around I might do that.
All very true, and even 12 years later when they promised to have grown and learned and changed and understand your value and want to be a better man cause they dreamed of you everyday….when they show you who they are…again….walk away.
yes leave…..best decision for self preservation
I feel all of this. I tell him I am an “afterthought”, and he denies it..but it’s the truth. He lost me long ago….we live like roommates. For how long? Who knows…I guess until one of us decides we’d rather live alone. That day will come.
What if she feels like that after u guy had a miss understanding and she come begging for mercy and forgiveness and u treat her so what should she do then it’s over a month
why do I still love her and want her after she cheated but after separation she made me understand this message but actually said I was 2 weeks to late ,then when I realized we were over she then came to me asking to come home but wasn’t willing to lose contact with the guy she was seeing the entire yr of separation and told me it’s been months since she last spoke to or saw him ,only for me to snoop because git feelings and saw video of her 1 day before she ask to come home with him at her place ? I ask her to tell me anything that could or would be found out no matter how big or small I wanted to start on clean slate but she didn’t tell me she was with him 1 day before I let her move back . So when I found this out I made her leave because she wasn’t willing to tell me why she didn’t tell me ? was I wrong for making her leave ? She knows she my entire world and again I’m so broken but without her not be forthcoming and giving me the reassurance of lovong me I made her leave and have told her to explain but now she said she will never come back . is it wrong of me but is she right or wrong ? I do believe I may fit the narcissist but why do I not have a right to be told the truth ? we had been talking about getting back together for 2 months . we have been married 21yrs . I was one of the guys who didn’t realize my wrongs until recent after she sent me a link explaining how she felt and I was totally at fault but she totally didn’t take the time to make me understand before she cheated .
wow I’m currently goin thru the same.difference is we’re married only 4 yrs an together 11 years. we’re separated a month now an she cheated within 3 weeks.i want her back but not sure if she willing to let go the guy she is cheating with.i told her is either me or him. I told her if she chooses me she hav to cut all contacts but if she choose him I’ll cut all contacts wit her. we hav a 6 yr old son together also. yea I’m paranoid wen I see her on d phone but she can’t blame me.
You say there is no chance for winning her back? Although knowing it better now? I tried so many times to prove I’m better
are you trying to tell us that love is ATTENTION to her? that if you don’t have enough SHE will lose her LOVE?for a man
While the article is heartfelt and resonates with real emotional pain, it leans heavily on the idea that when a woman leaves, it’s entirely the man’s fault. That’s a dangerous oversimplification of what are often deeply complex relational dynamics.
Yes, it’s valid that women want attention, appreciation, and emotional connection. But so do men. And just because a man doesn’t send a “good morning” text every day or forgets to comment on a new outfit doesn’t automatically mean he no longer cares. Many men express love differently, through acts of service, providing stability, showing up consistently, or simply staying loyal in the background.
Where’s the empathy for him?
Men are often expected to read emotional cues perfectly, respond constantly, and maintain a romance-movie level of emotional energy, while also being providers, protectors, and pillars of strength. And yet, their emotional needs often go unnoticed or are dismissed as “cold” or “detached” when in fact, many are just emotionally exhausted, battling silent pressures of masculinity and unspoken fears of inadequacy.
The assumption that “she’ll leave and it’ll be all your fault” is not just unfair, it’s manipulative. A breakup is rarely ever one person’s fault. If a woman feels neglected, the healthy response isn’t silent suffering or stockpiling guilt to later unleash, it’s open communication. Relationships thrive on dialogue, not unspoken expectations or keeping score of who “loved better.”
Also, let’s not pretend women never take their men for granted. How often are his efforts overlooked? How often does he go unappreciated while carrying emotional weight he can’t express? When was the last time she asked how he was feeling, or affirmed his worth without expecting something in return?
Love is not about performing affection on a schedule. It’s about grace, understanding, and effort on both sides. Men are human. They do have their flaws, but often doing the best they can in a world that expects perfection from them without always offering support in return.
So, to say “you’ll lose her and it’s all your fault” is not empowering, it’s accusatory. And it misses the deeper truth.
You don’t lose someone because of a few missed texts. You lose someone when the relationship becomes one sided when grace and growth stop being mutual.