If you feel like you’re too weak to handle a woman who is broken, then don’t even try.
This is how you love a woman who has been bent and broken. She isn’t going to be easy to love and so that’s why you’re going to have to try your hardest. It’s not like there haven’t been those who haven’t tried in the past. It’s just that none of them could ever sustain that love for her because she made things too difficult for them. And she’s going to do the same to you as well.
You will only be wasting both of your times. You don’t realize just how much strength and determination it takes to love this woman. Even if you genuinely believe that you’re up for the challenge, the difficulties that are abound will be greater than you could ever imagine. You are going to have to test your patience, your resilience, your commitment, your loyalty, and your understanding. And moreover, she is going to seriously test your willingness to love unconditionally the kind of love that doesn’t waiver or falter in the face of difficulty or adversity.
She is going to make it so hard for you to want to stay. She is going to push you away. She is going to make it seem like she doesn’t want you in her life. She will make you think that she doesn’t have the space to accommodate you into her life. She is going to throw everything that she has at you and more. She does this because she wants to test you. She has been bent and broken by so many guys before that she’s tired of playing the victim. So she wants to see if you really have what it takes to treat her the way that she deserves to be treated. And the only way she knows how to test your sincerity is to make life a living hell for you. You aren’t going to be able to predict her mood swings. You aren’t going to be able to figure out her pattern. She is going to be a force to be reckoned with and she wants to know if you’re actually strong enough to handle it. She wants to know if your feelings are real enough to help you withstand the storm that she is going to bring into your life.
There will be nights where she will be feeling particularly vulnerable and she will want to cry herself to sleep. When that happens; when you find yourself in those moments with her, you have to love her as hard as you can. When you see that the wheels in her head keep on turning in ways that just hurt her continuously, you are going to have to hold her and let her know that she doesn’t have to face her fears and demons alone.
She is going to be somewhat of a conundrum. You are never going to be able to figure her out because she doesn’t have things figured out herself. And you’re going to have to bear with that. You are going to have to put up with the instability that is her life. You are going to have to endure her inconsistencies with regards to how she deals with you. There is just so much fear and suffering in her past that has damaged her substantially. She has looked at abandonment right in the eyes and she managed to survive that but it left her feeling broken and unimportant. She has so many insecurities deep down inside of her. And these voices are telling her that she’s not good enough for love; that she’s not good enough to be with you. And that’s why you have to make it your job to be louder than these voices. You have to let her know that she is worthy of love; your love in particular. You have to be able to convince her that you are the man who is going to right all of the wrongs that are in her life. She will want you to stay close to her during her most vulnerable moments but she might also want to push you away. And when that happens, take the punches. Take the hits. But don’t leave her. Stay with her. Let her know that you’re there for her regardless of how bad things might get. When she asks for space, give it to her, but let her know that you’re still going to be there for her if she comes running. Give her the freedom and independence that she needs from you, but don’t make her feel like you’re out of reach either.
It’s no easy feat trying to love a girl who doesn’t want to be loved. And that’s why you’re just going to have to love her like you’ve never loved anyone else before.