A lot of the time, all of your problems in your relationship that are sexual in nature can be solved by actually talking to your partner and engaging in honest and open dialogue. Of course, you might feel like it’s really awkward to talk about sex with your partner.
And that awkwardness might frighten you into being quiet about it. But that’s the problem right there. You are never going to have your issues and concerns addressed if you don’t bring them up in your relationship. Understandably, it’s always difficult to broach awkward topics with your partner – and sex can be a really awkward thing to actually talk about.
Your apprehensions are perfectly understandable though. You might be worried that your partner is going to judge you for what you might have to say. You are afraid that your partner might somehow laugh at you or disagree with you. Maybe your partner will not like what you have to say and that could be a potential source of conflict in your relationship. Maybe your partner might not respond all too well to you bringing up sex in your conversations at all. And these are some very valid concerns to have. However, you shouldn’t let your fear keep you from talking about these issues with your partner.
The key is in being able to broach this topic in the right manner. If you are REALLY frightened, then here are a few strategies that you can try to help make these conversations easier.
1. Have the discussion in the right atmosphere. Perhaps you can choose a literal safe spot for the two of you to have the talk. It can’t be a location that intimidates or scares you. Perhaps you can have this conversation in a moving car where you can have a few distractions so that it eases the tension a little bit.
2. Own up to your vulnerability. Just tell your partner that this is a difficult task for you to have. Be open and honest about your fears and apprehensions about having this discussion. Once you let it all out there, your partner will be more sensitive and receptive of whatever you might have to say.
3. Don’t shy away from being touchy. Don’t underestimate the power of staying physically connected with your partner. Hold your partner’s hand as you have these discussions. Make sure that both of you are always in sync; that the both of you are always on the same page both on an emotional and physical wavelength.
4. Always take into consideration the most effective way for your partner to learn. As human beings, we all take in and absorb information differently. A lot of us will need very visual and graphic illustrations of ideas before we can grab them. Some of us will require research-based ideas before we can entertain them. And some of us will tap into our emotions and personal experiences before we can process a new idea. Find out what works for your partner and tap into that atmosphere of communication.
5. Understand that this conversation might not be limited to just one discussion. You’re not going to be able to hash everything out in a single conversation all of the time. And that’s okay. Just be willing to stay open and honest anytime the two of you are actually engaged in a discussion. Remember that the two of you have to have the proper mindset before you actually engage in these talks as well. Otherwise, it all becomes moot.
6. Those are only a few tips and strategies that you can use to help you have these difficult conversations with your partner. But if you’re still feeling lost with how to start the conversation, then there is a way that you can go about it as well.
USE THIS ARTICLE
Tell your partner that you’ve come across an article that has highlighted the importance of discussing sex within the relationship. This way, you aren’t necessarily making your partner feel like you’ve been harbouring these thoughts and feelings for quite some time. You never want your partner to feel like you are attacking them by wanting to talk about certain issues that you might have regarding your sex life. Always try to be as sensitive and as calming as possible.
Make sure that your partner understands the importance of being able to talk about sex in your relationship especially if it’s something that is important to both of you. Be honest and open. Allow yourself to be vulnerable. Make sure that your partner knows that they can trust you with what you’re saying and that you’re not hiding anything. You would be surprised at the amount of intimacy and affection that talking about sex in a relationship can bring.