Love is a choice; and it’s a choice that people in real relationships make for one another on a daily basis.
You know that there is one thing that would never happen to you when you fall in love for real?
There are just plenty of couples nowadays who struggle to figure out whether the relationship that they’re in is real love or not. They think that they’re in love but they can’t entirely be sure if the love is real; and so they seek signs that could confirm the legitimacy of their love. What kinds of beliefs and practices help relationships? What kind of habits can destroy a love in a romance? What kinds of character traits do we have to have to really make a relationship last?
The answer is fairly simple; and at the same time, it’s not.
It can be very difficult to simplify love because all of our relationships are unique and distinct; we all have different kinds of love stories and so generalizing love would be foolish. However, there are always some very constant principles that you can be sure to find in love and other things that you would be sure to never experience in true love as well. In fact, there is one very key thing that would never happen in a love that’s real.
Real love would never make you feel suffocated, constricted, or limited. Real love would never make you feel like you are chained to an arbitrary feeling of passion. Real love would never imprison you in your own emotional space. Real love would never force you to do things that you’re not comfortable with nor would it ever hold you back from anything that you want to pursue.
One of the biggest killers in any kind of healthy relationship is a false sense of entitlement which many of us fall victim to having on a daily basis. This sense of entitlement is cultural and psychological. For instance, just because we are a person’s child, we think that we are entitled to being cared for and being loved no matter what. Just because we are someone’s client, we think that we are entitled to being pampered and given premium service in exchange for monetary compensation. It shouldn’t, and frankly it doesn’t work this way in romantic relationships. Just because you become someone’s boyfriend, girlfriend, or spouse doesn’t automatically entitle you to the entirety of your partner’s life. There is no such unspoken rule that states that you get to take ownership of your partner’s life and the many facets that come with it. That kind of mindset can be very destructive and detrimental to your relationship.
There are just too many couples who attach conditions and limitations to the love that they have for their partner. Some will believe that their partner would willingly change up their lifestyle for the sake of the relationship. Some think that their partners would automatically obey whatever they demand just because they claim they love them. Love doesn’t work like that. Love isn’t just some kind of contract that comes with a list of demands and agreements that need to be met. That’s far from what love really is. That looks more like a business deal than it does a love story.
Real love doesn’t have conditions. Real love doesn’t have any limitations on those who are in it. Real love always encourages freedom, development, growth, and adventure. Real love is liberating. Real love is a risk that is always worth taking.
The fact of the matter is that when two people really fall in love with one another, they encourage each other to be completely free; to be completely themselves. They understand that the only real way to propagate the love that they have in the relationship is to always give each other the space and freedom to be real and genuine. They know that the only way for them to really build on their emotional bond is to continuously be themselves. A relationship that doesn’t have any strings attached relieves any unnecessary stress and pressure that might have led to a very toxic romantic environment.
There is a sense of completeness and wholeness in a relationship whenever you both allow yourselves to just let loose. Whenever you free yourselves from the pressures of having to live up to a certain standard or to act a certain way, then that’s when you know that the love that you have for one another is real. You don’t really feel the need to put up any charades anymore. You don’t have to be hiding behind a mask. Your love is bare and it’s there for everyone to see because you are being completely transparent yourself.
A lot of people tend to think that love is uncontrollable as if it isn’t a choice. But they’re wrong. Love is a choice; and it’s a choice that people in real relationships make for one another on a daily basis. They commit to one another every single day. They can choose to live without one another, but because their love is real, they just choose not to.
