We are always going to fantasize about that one special day wherein we might meet the true love of our lives. You might get a chance to meet your forever person through a dating app or a blind date that was set up by a friend. You might meet each other by chance at a regular hang out spot of yours. Regardless of how you might meet, the process of falling in love is always a beautiful and exciting one. And it’s an experience that all of us tend to seek out in our lives.

However, in spite of your best wishes and intentions, you aren’t always going to be able to find success in love and relationships. You might try your hardest with so many different people. You might really try to put yourself out there and make yourself available. But you get dealt with failure after failure. You are so tired of all the disappointment. And you’re starting to think that perhaps love isn’t something that’s meant for you after all.

You feel stumped. You know that you’re ready to commit. You know that you’re willing to give all of yourself to a relationship. And you know that you definitely want to fall in love with someone and make that relationship work. However, you can’t really figure out what it is you’re doing wrong.

Granted, we are all different and we all have our own unique and distinct personalities. We are all going to have different philosophies pertaining to love and romance. And we’re all going to approach love in our own different ways. That’s why it can be difficult to give a universally definitive explanation as to why you might not be finding success in your love life. It’s possible that it might be a combination of many different factors.

However, based on the observations of relationship experts all around the world, there is one very likely culprit that is causing your lack of success in love: you.

The reason that you can’t find success in love is that you haven’t yet learned how to love yourself.

Self-love is something that can mean so many different things to so many different people. But the truth of the matter is that a lot of people don’t really know how to engage in self-love properly. And that’s probably because we are always taught to love others above our own selves.

And it’s good that you would want to love other people more. However, you should never do so at the expense of your own well-being. You need to engage in self-love before you can know how to fall in love with someone else. But how do you do that if self-love isn’t really something that is innate to you? Well, here are a few tips to help you out with that:

1. Don’t downplay your accomplishments.

Whenever you amass success in life, celebrate it. Don’t be acting as if it isn’t a big deal. It’s okay for you to celebrate your achievements.

2. Always treat yourself kindly.

Never be too hard on yourself. On the times you screw up or make mistakes, you need to always be patient and understanding with yourself.

3. Change the aspects of your life that you don’t like.

If you are displeased with a certain aspect of your life, then you need to do something about it. You shouldn’t be so tolerant of the things that you know you hate.

4. Trust in your capacity to get things done.

You need to really believe in yourself. You need to start trusting that you can do anything that you just set your mind to.

5. Be comfortable with being on your own.

You have to learn to be more comfortable with just being on your own. You need to be able to embrace solitude and how you can still enjoy your life even when you’re left alone.

6. Don’t shove your feelings aside.

Don’t shove any of your feelings or emotions aside. Your feelings and emotions are very much valid. And you shouldn’t be ashamed about confronting them and expressing them.

7. Set and uphold standards in your relationships.

Whenever you get into new relationships, set standards and boundaries. And more importantly, uphold them. Never allow anyone to treat you less than how you deserve to be treated.

8. Pursue the things that you are most passionate about.

Really tap into the things that you are most passionate about. Pursue the interests, fields, and activities that add joy to your life.

FINAL THOUGHTS

No one is ever really going to be able to tell you when love is going to come for you. You’re never going to know whether things are going to work out between you and someone else. But what you can do until the love of your life comes around is fall in love with yourself first.

You may also like: