When you ask people what they think the biggest sins in a relationship would be, cheating would probably come out on top. However, another sin that is so closely associated to cheating is lying. And that’s going to be the topic of today’s article. They say that lying is always going to be frowned upon regardless of the situation. A person who lies in a relationship is always going to be dubbed as the bad guy. A lot of really healthy relationships can take a turn for the worse whenever a lie takes place. This is especially true when the liar in question isn’t able to justify their lie to their partner.
But here’s the real truth: we all lie – even to the ones in love. Some of us just lie in degrees that are greater and more frequent than others. You can tell some little lies without you even realizing it; without even batting an eye. For example, when you tell your partner that you’re “fine” even though you’re clearly not, you are telling a lie. Yes, you may think that you’re doing it for the right reasons. You might just want to be sparing your partner of your negativity. But regardless of your reasons, you’re still lying to your partner. And in this scenario, you don’t necessarily consider yourself to be an evil being. A lot of the time, we assume that bad people lie because they are selfish and they are always looking to cheat their way through life. However, the truth is that plenty of people lie because they are too afraid of the potential destruction that the truth might bring. They might fear that their truth is going to end up leaving them feeling ridiculed, ashamed, and humiliated by those who are closest to them.
Let this particular example serve as proof for this point. Let us say that Michael has been suffering from depression for a while now. However, in spite of his depression, he met a beautiful girl who he eventually fell in love with. Her name is Katrina. And Michael explained his love for his eventual wife despite battling depression in his own life. He said, “Whenever I’m with Katrina, it’s as if there’s a part of my life that just lights up. It’s like her presence in my life is enough to inspire me to conquer the demons in my life. In the past, I had substantial trouble waking up in the mornings and finding a way to get through the day. I even battled with thoughts of suicide before. I was tempted to just end my life and put myself out of my misery. However, Katrina somehow gives me hope. She makes his life worth living.”
And that’s beautiful, right? You couldn’t be happier for Michael. However, it would disturb you to know that Katrina and Michael eventually revealed that they had experienced serious problems because of lying in a relationship. Katrina lied to Michael and told him that she had to go on a work trip; but the truth was that she went on a beach trip with her girlfriends. Michael eventually found out that she was lying and he got really paranoid about it. He knew that she wasn’t on a work trip; but he didn’t know that she was at the beach having innocent fun with her girl friends either. He assumed that she was cheating on him. That’s when Michael’s depression started to kick in again. He felt like he was being betrayed by the love of his life; and that drove him to feeling sad and depressed.
And this is the issue with telling an “innocent lie” to someone you love. You might think that you are protecting them from the pains of the truth. But in reality, you are doing more harm than you believe. Lies can harm people even when you don’t intend for them to. At the end of the day, honesty is always going to be the best policy. In a healthy relationship, you should always feel open enough to tell your partner anything. You should always be confident about speaking your heart’s truth to the love of your life. You should never feel like you need to censor yourself to the one you love. You should respect your partner enough to know that they are always deserving of the truth – even when it’s uncomfortable or inconvenient.
But of course, the truth is also a responsibility. And everything always has its proper time and place. Honesty is something that you have to dole out with discernment and wisdom. At the end of the day, you’re going to have to execute your better judgment. But always know that the truth always prevails.