This Is What It Means When You Can’t Get Someone Out Of Your Mind

At one point in your life, you must have found yourself in the position of just always thinking about one person in particular; this special someone who you just can’t seem to get out of your mind. Even during the most special moments of your life where you have everything going on for you, you find yourself thinking about this special individual who you wish you could be sharing everything with.

It’s really weird how your mind works sometimes. You can’t really seem to figure out why this particular person has seemingly reserved a permanent spot on your mind. You just don’t understand why your thoughts are always being consumed by this special person.

Perhaps you’re just madly in love with them? Or maybe you’re starting to develop fresh feelings of infatuation towards them? Or maybe there is no particular reason that you can wrap your mind around and you’re just eventually going to have to accept that that is how your brain functions.

But if you’re desperate for answers, then you have reached the right article. The truth isn’t going to be as simple as you may want it to be; nor will it be something that you exactly want to hear. There are a thousand possible reasons as to why you could be obsessing over a specific person. And these are just a few of them:

1. You are growing attracted to this person.

First of all, it’s important for you to know that attraction can take its shape in various forms and it also presents itself in various degrees. There are many factors that go into you becoming attracted to another person.

You could become attracted to a person for physical, emotional, mental, or spiritual reasons. You could even mix and match a lot of these reasons and that’s when the attraction becomes deeper and more complex. And a lot of times, it’s one’s inability to rationalize the level and kind of attraction that one may have that leaves them to obsess over this other person.

When you find yourself consistently thinking of another person, then it’s highly doubtful that you don’t feel some kind of attraction towards this individual. However, the only real way for you to gain real closure in this situation is if you actually try to structure your thoughts a little bit. Take some time to really think about why you’re attracted to this person; and what parts of them you are most attracted to. All it’s really going to take is a little soul-searching and reflection on your part.

2. You are becoming increasingly confused and puzzled by someone.

Another possible reason that you can’t seem to get someone out of your mind is that they serve as an absolute riddle to your life. This makes a whole lot more sense if you are just an inherently curious problem-solver. You hate not being able to figure people out. You always try to make sense of everything and everyone around you. And when something stumps you, you really obsess over it.

So, you aren’t really ATTRACTED to this person as a whole. You are merely attracted to the idea of being able to figure this person out. You want to be able to find out what makes this person tick. You want to know the deep and intimate secrets that lay underneath that intimidating surface. You want to be able to peel at this person’s layers to discover more about them.

After all, we are only ever really comfortable around the people we understand. And it’s your way of being able to find comfort in your life by taking it upon yourself to really figure this individual out. You don’t want them to remain an enigma to you.

3. They have a broken life that you desperately want to fix.

This is another plausible reason that could ring true if you’re a particularly caring and nosy individual. You take it upon yourself to always be in service of those who are around you. You don’t really like to live a life for yourself. You want to make sure that you are able to help other people fight their battles as well.

That’s why whenever you see a broken soul, you try to figure that person out so that you can know how to better help them with the worries and troubles in their own lives. You want to act as a kind of special savior to this person even when they never even asked you to be.

This can be a good thing if you are really able to help them become whole again. But it can also be a negative if you are meddling a little too much. Just remember to know your boundaries and keep yourself in check at all times.


  1. Not helpful. It was a past 4-yr lover. Other than my kids it was the best four years of my life. The only thoughts I had was that she had been thru two marriages (1 brief one when she married her brothers best friend after the brother committed suicide at 27… then she went into alcoholism and then recovery. Married a guy (#2) during the recovery process (a no no) and that last a few years. Husband #2 was using her as an ATM. She divorced him and captured my body, heart, and soul). She was genuinely happy and I was too. She and I weaved us into both families. She was my rock during a serious brain operation. We were quite active and madly in love. After 4 years she told me she was no longer being in love with me. She left me. I was totally crushed. I was lost. Destroyed. Felt horrible. No confidence. I drifted in my pain. I thought I did something wrong but she had simply had said “It’s not you it’s me” (blah blah). We had an 18 year difference (she was 44 and I was 62) but no body noticed. We looked to be a perfect in love couple.

    After 4 years I figured out (guessed) that she likely had met him at a college reunion in Feb of 2015. He and her were college sweethearts. He likely shared he had been through a (messy) divorce and had co-custody of two teenage kids that needed a stepmom. He had been thrown out of his family with a large cash settlement. So he had major money.

    I doubt if she knew that he had been kicked out of the Country Club when he had a screaming bout with his ex-wife and kids in front of everyone at the club pool. I also doubt if she knew this: apparently, the internet shows he lost a court case when he had attempted to defraud a couple/client of $30K.

    Of course I knew none of this at the time. I was in the basement of hell.

    Its been five years and I still can’t get her out of my mind. So I think I must be insane. I have dated and been in shorter term arrangements and I was fine during these times but when they went south my past love memories surge like a tsunami. This is not right.

    I need to solve this huge emotional problem for me. Read and researched but still no answer to this “pain of loss and separation issue”. Just joined SLAA.


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