What happened? Did your soulmate suddenly transform into something that you just weren’t ready for? Or were you the culprit? Were you the one who changed?
It’s not always meant to be and something that you thought was a sure thing at the start is slowly dwindling down into nothing right before your very eyes. Not to say that your love wasn’t real at first, it’s just that it wasn’t the kind that was made to last. You initially thought that you were going to spend the rest of your lives together but now you know that your days are essentially numbered and you don’t know what you can do about it.
It all began with the things that attracted you to your soulmate in the first place the facets of his personality that just had you hooked right from the start. You were obsessed right away and you experienced an absolute myriad of emotions that downright confused you and exhilarated you at the same time. You felt this burning desire to know more about his world you wanted to immerse yourself in it. You wanted to get lost in his eyes every opportunity that you got. But now, things couldn’t be more different. You are practically numbed at the sight of him. The very thought of spending time with one another does nothing for you. You act completely indifferent as if the parts of the world that welded you together just vanished into thin air. Now there is a blank space between the both of you with nothing to fill it. It’s all just a matter of walking your own ways and saying goodbye at this point.
What happened? Did your soulmate suddenly transform into something that you just weren’t ready for? Or were you the culprit? Were you the one who changed? Regardless of the answer, regardless of the reason, it pains you to know that things turned out this way and you wish you could do something to remedy the situation.
You can’t exactly put your finger on where things started to change. You can’t pinpoint a specific instance in your relationship that just blurred your romantic lenses. You can’t seem to tell what conceivable differences there are from where you started to where you are now. You just know that there is something amiss and you know that it’s something you can’t salvage anymore. You know that things aren’t as they should be and that should be enough.
Your friends bombard you with endless questions about the state of your relationship and you are always left stupefied. They don’t understand this because from their point of view, everything looks to be alright. They are only asking you out of courtesy but they don’t really suspect anything to be wrong. It’s you who knows for sure that something is wrong but you can’t quite explain it. You can’t articulate your feelings so well and you’re at a loss for words. The reason why you can’t put a coherent thought together about the matter is perhaps because there is just no reason to the whole scheme at all. Perhaps things just happen and sometimes, there is no explanation. One day, something could mean something, and it could also mean another thing on another given day and there doesn’t necessarily have to be a reason for it. That’s the best you can put it but you don’t say it out loud because you know that no one would ever understand you.
There was a point wherein this person would be in the same room as you and you wouldn’t have your eyes on anyone else. But now, even when you’re together in a small crowded room, you’re practically freed from the spell of his gaze. In fact, locking eyes with him repulses you at this point even though you don’t know why. You could be lying in bed together at night and you watch him as he dozes off out of the corner of your eye. He’s right there beside you. You can reach out and grab him, touch him, feel his presence in your life and yet, you still feel like you are all alone in this world. In fact, it’s a different kind of loneliness too a kind that you have never ever felt before. You’re caught in a world wherein people ask you what’s wrong but your perpetual reply is always nothing.
It’s nothing because you can’t quite put your finger on it and it deeply frustrates you.
So what do you do when you’re caught in the abyss such as this? What do you do when the person you thought was your whole life ended up becoming just another footnote to your day? How do you move on from this situation?
This is what it’s like to tall out of love with someone you thought was your soulmate. This is what it’s like to lose a love that you thought was real – a love that could last.
