This Is What It’s Like To Love Someone Who Doesn’t Love You In Return

Empty. That’s primarily how it feels. It’s empty. It’s completely void of anything.

This is what it’s like to love someone who doesn’t love you in return. There’s an emptiness there and you are desperate to fill it with something anything. But you can’t.   It’s like that feeling of wanting to grab a piece of gum for yourself because even though you’re not hungry, you’re still looking for something that you can chew on. It gives your mouth something to do.

It gives your mind the sensation that you’re eating something even though in reality, you aren’t doing anything. You try to extract as much satisfaction that you can from the simulation but you just can’t because you now deep down inside that it isn’t real.

Loving someone who doesn’t love you in return is essentially like a hike up a mountain without a peak. You know that you’re putting in so much emotional, physical, and mental devotion into what you’re doing but you also know that you’re doing it all without an end. You know that there’s nothing waiting for you once you get to the peak.

You aren’t even sure if the peak exists. It’s like throwing countless hay-makers at a punching bag that just refuses to hit back one that refuses to acknowledge your existence and your strength as an individual. Loving someone who doesn’t love you in return will leave you feeling incredibly weak and vulnerable wherein you start becoming insecure about who you are and you end up questioning the validity of your own emotions.

And the bitter cherry that tops this sad cake of misfortune is the fact that you are never going to extract anything positive from this experience. You will not be able to gain a sense of meaning or fulfilment from loving someone who doesn’t love you in return.

The truth is that nothing good can come from this and even though this experience hurts you to your core, it adds no purpose to your life. It’s a hollow pain that carries no weight but it stings nonetheless.

When you fall in love with someone who just can’t reciprocate those feelings for you isn’t necessarily something that will make you a better person overall. Sure, there might be a few lessons here and there that you can extract from the situation.

But these aren’t necessarily lessons that you need to be learning. These aren’t experiences that you need to be putting yourself through. It’s just a whole lot of unnecessary pain and anguish that you need to get over quickly. It’s an unfortunate predicament that you can’t afford to allow yourself to get consumed by.

There are no key takeaways here. It’s a lake of emptiness that you can’t let yourself drown in. The moment you start to feel yourself sinking, find a rope and get yourself out. There’s no point in prolonging the unnecessary agony that you put yourself through here. You have to be mature enough by now to know that love alone just isn’t enough. You could love with the strength and amplitude of a million hearts.

But if the cards just don’t come out in your favor, you aren’t going to find success no matter how much love you give. There is nothing brave or noble about giving your love to someone who refuses to give it back in return. It’s just downright self-deprecating and self-destructive.

There is no strength there because the strongest people know that strength is fleeting and that it should only be devoted to worthwhile causes. While it’s good to spread as much love as you can throughout the world, you also have to be discerning with your love.

If you are so liberal with the way you hand out your love, you depreciate its own value. You don’t want to be giving your love to someone who doesn’t appreciate it to someone who refuses to accept or acknowledge it.

That is a waste of a perfectly good love. You don’t want to be giving so much of yourself to an abyss. You want to make sure that you get just as much as you give.

You can do whatever you think it might take to make your love valid but at the end of the day, it all goes down the drain and you will have nothing to show for it. And there’s nothing noble about that. What good is a love given if it doesn’t find a path to make its way back to you?

You need to remember that as much as you want to love someone else, you have to love yourself first. And loving yourself means placing your love in the right places in the right people. You can’t be wasting your love on someone who just refuses to give you the same kind of love in return.

1 comment
  1. Thanks a lot for taking this huge step to talk us who are undergoing emotional torture in the name of love. Am 33 years of age and a mother of 2, married for almost 8 years but I cant even defined if its a marriage or what my husband is so cold towards I cant even remember the last time he said he loves, he provides everything for the children but he doesn’t have my time as a woman or as his wife what can I do am almost giving up on this marriage because its a real torture on my side.

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