We enjoy each other’s company.
For the moment, I’m engaged in something. I don’t know what to call it yet, but I like it. I love it. I’m having a lot of fun. I’m enjoying myself and I don’t regret that I don’t necessarily have a name or label for it. It’s complicated because it involves another person. And I really don’t want to have to complicate what we have by attaching labels and names to whatever it is we share between us. Because along with labels and names come standards and expectations. I don’t want to have to deal with any of that. I don’t want to be so bold as to actually have the audacity to call what we have with each other a relationship. I don’t want to be the one who puts that kind of power on myself. I don’t want to take on the responsibilities that come attached with that word; that label. To add on to that, I know that the term relationship can mean so many things to so many different people and that’s where the real problem lies. I don’t want to end up calling whatever we have a relationship even when I don’t know if we see eye to eye o what a relationship really is.
I mean, why would anyone ever want to rock the boat that they’re on? We’re having fun for now. We enjoy each other’s company. We like whatever rhythm or rapport we’ve established with each other. Is there really a need to complicate things by attaching labels to everything? It feels weird to try and simplify the social dynamics between two people by merely attributing them to a single arbitrary idea. I really don’t get modern society’s obsession with trying to label or categorize everything. The universe is an infinitely complex entity; and everything that comprises the universe doesn’t necessarily have to have some sense of structure or rhyme to it. The universe is under no obligation to make sense to us at all. This is the same principle that I carry with me. I am under no obligation at all to make my relationship or whatever you choose to call it of sense to you. I shouldn’t have to give in to the pressures of society. I shouldn’t have to adjust myself just because other people are uncomfortable with how I’m living my life even when it shouldn’t be any of their concern in the first place. I shouldn’t have to put a label to things just because other people don’t feel okay with not being able to attach a name to the way that I’m choosing to live my life. I refuse to reduce my life to something that could be easily labeled.
They tell me that my philosophy isn’t sustainable. They say that this isn’t the way I should be going about trying to land myself in a long-term relationship. But that’s just the thing. I don’t know what I want yet. I don’t know what my life looks like in the long-term. I don’t want to be committing myself to an idea; to a label that I’m not even completely sure I would want for myself. I just know that I’m currently having a lot of fun and I should be content in that. Just because other people can’t be content with that fact doesn’t make it my problem It’s not my problem. It never has been nor should it ever be. I think that we’re all too caught up in a fast-paced world that forces us to always be looking ahead. And I’m not saying that it’s not a good thing to be planning for the future. I’m not saying that it’s not good to be forward-thinking. I’m just saying that we can get consumed with thinking about what will be, we end up neglecting what is happening right before our very eyes. We try so hard to go after the future that we want for ourselves that we end up taking the present for granted. And that’s not something that I want to be guilty of. That’s not something that I want to associated with.
So yes. I understand that if I want a future with this person, I am going to have to start thinking about the future and everything that comes with it. I am going to have to start thinking about commitment, dedication, planning, and all of that. But I’m just not ready to do so. For now, I just want to prolong this bliss that I seem to be caught in with this human being. We’re happy and I don’t want to mess that up with anything too complicated until I absolutely have to. For now, allow me to be happy with what we are without labels.
