This is Why Missing Someone Doesn’t Mean They Belong In Your Life

So stop! Stop crying, stop trying, and stop missing!

Falling in love can open up a brand new world for you. A world where you can trust a person, where you can care and be cared for, where you don’t have to constantly be on your toes and where there’s someone who keeps you going despite everything. However, falling in love also means that you’re entering a world of potentially getting your heart-broken. When two people love each other and I mean genuinely love each other, they don’t think it’ll ever end because despite the circumstances or despite the problems, you two would always think that you guys can make it. Face it, no one enters a relationship to have their heart-broken. It just happens.

If you two broke up because you just knew that this was never going to work out and the whole love that was there at the start of the relationship isn’t there any longer, then somehow it doesn’t hurt as bad. It sucks that it had to end but you knew it was going nowhere, but what’s worse is an amicable breakup where you two realise that circumstances will never permit you two to be together. At least not now.

Distance, work, family or ambitions, there are a billion circumstances which led to where you are today. Aching to see him again, picking up the phone only to put it down today or thinking of him only to convince yourself that he wasn’t the one for you. That’s the thing about genuinely falling in love, it can never go away. You’ll always have a place in your heart for him and you can’t convince yourself of anything because he wasn’t the one who did this and neither did you. The thought of everything being perfect again and the plans you’re making to make it perfect again all have their flaws. I know the feeling of wanting someone back and preparing to make drastic changes just to get them back. However, what will you do after? You quit your high paying job to move closer to him or you decide to chase his ambitions instead of your own. Tell me, what good is that going to do? Put your emotions aside and think realistically for a change because the reality of the situation was what led to you two breaking up. 

I’m here to tell you how missing someone doesn’t mean that you need them in your lives. You two broke up and now you can’t spend every second of your life making up ways to go back in time and change everything because that’s not going to happen. What’ll happen is that sooner or later one of you is going to move on and the other person was so busy thinking that it’ll work eventually, that they won’t be able to bear it. Time will go on, days will pass and you won’t be able to get them back. Are we even able to get a second back? You don’t need him. You can love him with every fiber of your being for now but eventually you’ll have to move on, eventually you’ll have to realise that right now this isn’t going to happen and eventually you’ll have to stop missing them.

So stop! Stop crying, stop trying, and stop missing! He’ll come back if that’s what’s meant to happen and you or he won’t have to make a drastic change for that to happen. Maybe he won’t come back, but you know something that will definitely never come back? Time. You’re wasting your time by clouding everything in your life because you think you need him to survive. Did he fall in love with you because you were moping around? Or did he fall in love with you because he saw you as confident, charming, brave and strong. You’re an attractive person who can’t let this turn you from that into something ugly.

I can’t tell you to stop loving him because you will no matter what I say. Like I said, amicable breakups do that to you. You can’t put anyone at fault and to you he’ll always be the person you fell in love with. However, it just wasn’t meant to be. You do not need him to survive. Heck, you don’t need anyone to help you live! He might’ve made you live life to the fullest but you’re the one who’s living this life. You’re the one who has to do this. It’s great to have someone with you on your journey but at the end of the day, it’s your journey. No one’s to blame, especially not you. Don’t think I haven’t been at the exact same point as you. I tried and I tried really hard and I know he did too but it wasn’t enough to make it work. In the start we kept pushing through THINKING it’ll sort itself out eventually, however, once time started to pass, we realized that it wasn’t going to happen. How long can one hold on to hope that it’ll work out? Oddly enough, your whole life. But if you’re in a relationship then you need to realise that people can’t be constant. There are so many things to take into account. It happened for the best.

All in all, as the title suggests, missing him doesn’t necessarily mean that you need him. Live your life to its fullest and let him live his. It’ll hurt somewhat when you see him moving on but you need to accept that as a possibility. It can, it might and it will happen. The best thing to do is move on yourself. Look at every day as a brand new glorious day. Be happy again.

By Relationship Rules

Relationship Rules is my ideology of love. It's a concept of emotion and oneness.

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