She was always giving, but she was never receiving. At some point, you would expect her to just get fed up.
She has been around the block once or twice in the past. She has played this game before and she lost. She tried, but she failed miserably. This is not her first rodeo. She is here now broken, bruised, and scarred. She’s tired. She doesn’t want to lose anymore. She’s afraid that she might not be able to take it as well as she used to.
It used to be that she would always give all of herself to every relationship. She would never hold back. She always dove head first into love. She always gave and gave without expectations or hesitations. She seemingly had no limit to what she was willing to give to her relationships. There was no telling just how far she would go to bring happiness to the men of her life. She always chose to deprioritize her own personal needs for the relationship. She was always generous without reservations. She was always thoughtful without malice. That’s just how she really was; but she isn’t sure if she can be that way still. She has had her fair share of difficult and challenging experiences. She has gone through some very traumatic rough patches. But still, she persisted. She carried on because that was the only way she knew how to go about life. She was on the receiving end of some painful comments. She was always the first one to get hurt. And yet, she chose to just give more of herself because she thought that was the only way that she could fix the situation.
But despite it all, she always came up short. All of her efforts just never seemed to be enough. It was as if she was always destined to fail.
She invested her entire self into a relationship that just wasn’t worth it. In fact, there were a lot of them. And she chose to give all of herself to each relationship every single time. She always kept that kind of timeless optimism that you rarely see these days. She was never a cynic. She was always a firm believer of romance and the power of love. She always thought that it was always worth devoting one’s self to. She always maintained an idealistic view on things. Maybe that was her problem. But can you blame her for wanting to romanticize love?
She was always giving, but she was never receiving. At some point, you would expect her to just get fed up.
Eventually, cynicism caught up to her. The harsh realities of the world just dawned on her like a blanket of darkness. She started to understand that love just can’t be forced. She started to learn that you just can’t coerce someone into loving you by giving everything you have. She decided that she was going to have to start picking her spots. She couldn’t afford to be careless anymore for the sake of her heart or what was left of it. She learned that she couldn’t suffocate people into loving her. She knew that she had to stop trying to control everything; that she needed to stop investing too much of herself into anyone because it just breaks her every time that person decides to get up and leave.
So for now, she doesn’t want to let you all the way in like she used to do in previous relationships with other men. She is now afraid of committing herself to anything or to anyone that she can’t trust. She doesn’t want to have to bear the pain of loss and disappointment again. She doesn’t want to have to endure the hardships of being left behind after getting her hopes up.
She doesn’t want to have to deal with you becoming an important aspect of her life. She knows that there’s a chance that you’re just going to get up and go. She doesn’t want to risk it anymore like she’s done a thousand times before. She knows that if she lets herself grow accustomed to you, she might have to bear the pressures of making you stay. That’s the kind of pressure she can no longer take. She doesn’t want to get too deep into anything that’s going to be temporary.
So for now, you are just going to have to understand where she is coming from. You are going to have to empathize with her. You are just going to have to try and feel the pain that she has been feeling for so long. You will have to be patient. If you truly want to be with her, you are going to have to wait. You are just going to have to give her the space that she needs to be ready to love again. You are going to have to give her all the time she needs to pick up the pieces. You just have to allow her the opportunity to start believing in love again.
