Do not, under any circumstances, think that she wasn’t in love with you.
Do not, under any circumstances, think that she wasn’t in love with you. She loved you just as much as you loved her and you shouldn’t doubt that not even for a second. She just really had to let you go because she knew that this was something that she needed to do for herself. She needed the kind of freedom that you just never could give her. She needed the kind space that your relationship together could just never provide. So don’t think that she wasn’t infatuated with you. Don’t think that she wasn’t smitten by you. She was. And that’s what made her decision so much more difficult. She saw a whole future for the both of you. She knew that you were the man she had been looking for. You were the man that she had been waiting for her entire life.
She just had to be selfish for the sake of herself. She just felt that she needed the freedom more than she needed to be in a relationship with you. It was a close race, but ultimately, she needed to be free to be herself. She needed to loosen herself from the ties of your relationship. She needed to free herself from the shackles of your love. She needed to step outside of where she was comfortable whenever she was with you. She needed to keep her heart racing. She needed to put one foot in front of the other and she could never do that with you. She knew that being with you would mean a life of structure, stability, consistency, and safety. But she needed to be unsafe. She needed to be vulnerable. She needed to explore.
She just felt this insatiable need to escape the life that the two of you were leading. Not to say that the life you spent together was making her unhappy. On the contrary, she was never as happy as she was when she was with you. It’s just that sometimes, people need to learn to let go of their happiness for the sake of pursuing greater things. She couldn’t afford to live in her little fantasy world with you anymore. She needed to free herself from a life of familiarity and ease. She needed to escape the simplicity of easy living and throw herself into the world of the unknown. She was craving for uncertainty and difficulty. She needed a challenge because the life that she had with you always felt easy.
She didn’t hate you. She didn’t abhor you. She didn’t dislike being with you at all. She just knew that this wasn’t the path that was meant for her. You might not have understood it when she left. You might not understand it now. And you might not ever understand it for as long as you live. But you just have to accept the fact that this was a choice that she felt like she had to make and that you were just an unintended casualty of this choice. The reasons for her leaving were not purely motivated by your existence in her life. It’s just that you just happen to be one of the biggest things she deliberately chose to leave behind and she’s very sorry for that and yet she isn’t.
You can’t blame her for being selfish. She only did what she think was best for her life at the time. If she chose to stay just for you, then she only would have been giving in to your selfish desires. She would have only been living the life that you wanted her to be living. She loved being with you. She loved all the time that you spent together. It’s just that, you also came at a time in her life where she needed to do other things. You can’t blame her for choosing her own life over the life that you could have been spending together. You shouldn’t also make the mistake of thinking that things were easy for her. You shouldn’t think that this was a decision that she came to impulsively. You shouldn’t think that this was a spur of the moment kind of thing.
She weighed all of her options. She knew all of the things that she was going to have to say goodbye to. She knew all the difficulties that she was getting herself into. She knew that kind of heartbreak that she was going to impose on herself. She knew just how hard it would be for her and for everyone else to make the choice that she made. But she still chose to do it because she knew it’s what she needed to do. So don’t go on thinking that she made this choice because of you or in spite of you. She made this choice for herself because she knew it was the right choice to make for her own life.