It’s still perfectly possible for you to fall in love with someone else even when you haven’t first fallen in love with yourself. However, you have to know at the offset that that isn’t really a recipe for success. You aren’t going to be setting yourself up for a happy ending if you let yourself fall for someone even when you don’t love yourself just yet.
The issue isn’t really with the love that you can give to another person. That won’t be a problem. It’s the love that you’re supposed to be accepting from others that will give you problems. It’s being able to believe that you are worthy of love where you’re going to struggle. And that’s not a struggle that you can afford to just shrug off or take lightly.
If you still haven’t learned to love yourself, you are going to find it really hard to believe in the idea of having another person fall in love with you. You aren’t going to be able to fully appreciate the love that other people would be willing to give you. You wouldn’t be able to grasp the enormity of a love that a special someone might want to throw your way.
And in the end, a perfectly good love gets thrown away into oblivion – all because you still haven’t learned what it means to love yourself. You won’t be able to believe the nice words and compliments that this person might attribute to you. You are going to doubt and question every kind gesture and act that they do for you; you are going to question their intentions and real motivations because you just can’t fathom the concept of someone just expressing their love for you in this manner.
You aren’t going to be able to see the sincerity in their eyes because you can’t see what it is about you that they could be in love with. You are going to think that they’re patronizing you; that they’re lying to you just to lift your spirits. You’re going to think that they are merely taking pity on you because of how unlovable you think you are even though the truth is that they love you with all of their heart. Or maybe perhaps, you might believe that they love you for now, but you are too scared that the more that they get to know you, the more they will realize just how unlovable you are. And so you end up pushing them away because you yourself believe that you are undeserving of love.
If you haven’t learned to fall in love with yourself, then you refrain from allowing yourself to get attached to another person because you always just feel like you’re going to end up alone anyway. You don’t get your hopes up because you just assume that you’re going to be abandoned by anyone you try to latch yourself on to. You just don’t want to set yourself up for disappointment at the hands of another person and so that’s why you just cut them off by disappointing yourself at the start.
You play yourself down so that you don’t get tempted to have your head float up to the clouds. You always just automatically assume that you are deserving of the worst of what life has to offer. This way, you get to control your misery and you aren’t at the mercy of another person.
If you still haven’t learned to fall in love with yourself, then you will be an irritating boil on the face of your relationship. You will put your partner through so much unnecessary stress. You won’t be able to take a compliment well. You won’t ever be able to fully appreciate their advances in the ways that you should be. You won’t be able to receive them in the way that they deserve to be received.
You are going to lead them to believe that you just don’t trust them – and you are going to hurt them as a result. Your insecurities will end up harming the people who love you. And it’s all because you just didn’t learn to love yourself beforehand. You are going to believe that you are only worthy of unkindness and so you end up projecting that unkindness on the people who love you the most.
If you refuse to learn how to love yourself, you are only destroying your soul more and more every single day that you’re alive. You are letting your insecurities get the best of you. You are letting the weight of the baggage that you carry cripple you and hold you back. You are letting your own misplaced sense of self-loathing keep you from the love that you are truly deserving of. So before you allow yourself to fall for someone else, please do take the time to fall in love with yourself first.