This is the story of Mary Crumpton.
She is a woman who began to explore her sexuality at the very ripe age of 29. She, later on, discovered that she was mostly attracted to the idea of polyamorous relationships – being in relationships with more than just one partner.
Polygamy is actually something that has existed in human civilization. A lot of people are probably very much familiar with the idea of polygamy at this point. However, polyamory isn’t as well-known. In fact, it didn’t really show any signs of life in pop culture up until around the 1990s.
Polyamory is defined to be the desire for having intimate relationships with more than just one person. However, it’s not the same as cheating on your partner. People in polyamorous relationships are always going to be upfront about who they are, what they like, and how they want their relationships to be carried out. They never hide their intentions and they always come clean about their preferences.
If you aren’t convinced that this kind of relationship arrangement can actually exist in this contemporary society, then you should continue to read on. Mary Crumpton’s story will have you eating your own words.
Mary is a normal girl who happens to be married to just one guy. But she also happens to be engaged to another man. And she has two other boyfriends as well. She says that she only started exploring her sexuality when she was 29 and that mature age allowed her to have a more open mind about what relationships should really be like.
She said, “I was brought up in quite a traditional home. I had boyfriends and was monogamous. Having more than one partner never crossed my mind. In my twenties, I got married and settled down in Chorlton fully intending to be with my husband for life.”
This happens a lot with individuals who are prohibited from breaking the limits brought about by monogamous structures at younger ages. Mary also says of her situation, “At the time I didn’t really question having just one partner. It was normal.”
Society has a way of dictating “norms” in a way that is combative and ostracizing of those who don’t necessarily subscribe to the same kind of philosophy. Anyone who breaks away from traditional norms is always at risk of being outcasted and ridiculed.
Crumpton also confesses, “I did sometimes have feelings for other people, but I felt guilty about doing so and just took it as a sign that I didn’t love my husband enough. When the marriage didn’t work out, I met someone else, and started a monogamous relationship with him.”
So, how exactly did she go from that situation into one of polyamory?
It is often a very lonely and difficult position to be in whenever you find yourself taking an unusual approach to something as serious as love and relationships. But Mary didn’t let that stop her from coming to terms with how she really felt. “The idea that loving more than one person might not make me a terrible human being only dawned on me when, at a pub, I bumped into a person who had more than one partner,” said Crumpton.
“I had never come across it before, or the term ‘polyamory’ which means ‘more-than-one love’. I was quite shocked and curious about how it all worked for them.”
When she had met this new person, she was already with her partner at that time. And to her relief, he also happened to be curious about the practice of polyamory too. But Crumpton and her partner decided to not break away from the boundaries of their monogamous relationship just yet. It was only a couple of years after that when Crumpton actually broached the idea with her partners.
She told him that she wanted to try out being in an open relationship with one another. He was also in agreement with it and they actually both found additional partners for themselves. And it was then when Crumpton’s eyes were liberated. She was in a new and very exciting position and she couldn’t get enough of it.
She said, “I took to it immediately. I had a friend that I was already close to and that friendship drifted very naturally into something more. My partner had a similar experience with a friend of his. It was a revelation to me. I quickly realized that I had been ‘wired up’ this way probably all my life – loving more than one person now seems like the most natural thing in the world to me and I can’t imagine being any other way.”
Now, she is no longer with the person she had first explored polyamory with. She is currently married to Tim and has a fiancé as well. In addition to this, she is also in a relationship with two other men.
I find it funny you say Norms like it’s a bad thing. Most of us get in our fourties’ and raise a family and we are just trying to be sure to find time with that special someone we married. Making one seriously special relationship work is hard enough. God bless her she has the energy and time and doesn’t want to have kids……cause with 4 partners in her life I guarantee you they aren’t all acting like a grown man all the time. None of us do all the time. But if she’s having kids at some point I guarantee you that will sort the men from the boys. There is a difference between sex and love as well and it only takes about 2 to 3 years to sort that out. So inviting all that in makes her way stronger than me. But I will stay with my happy norm. But FYI….I didn’t start a family until my late 30’s. I did all that life experience sorting out when I was younger and I discovered as you get older you get wiser. We never stay the same person. We live we learn and we grow. It’s hard to grow together with one person. So don’t talk about Norms like it’s a bad thing. Some people can maintain this life style for a long time and be alright. Religious beliefs help in multi marriages because then they have God to help them through. And I can honestly say if relationships were all easy there would be no such thing as marriage counseling and divorce. So where it’s different let’s not play this up to be the best way to experience life and that it is easy. There is no relationship out there that doesn’t take work. Like I said….time and energy.