To The Person Who Emotionally Killed Me

I want you to imagine this specific situation: picture a woman lying down on her bed at night; she’s desperately trying to keep her tears from falling because she doesn’t want to be that cliché weak girl who cries herself to sleep. She’s trying so desperately to think of something else; to take her mind off of the pain that she’s feeling in that moment.

But when her mind refuses to just think of anything, she tries to accept these uncomfortable thoughts. She tries to rationalize everything that she’s just been through. She’s trying to make sense of her situation. She’s trying to gain closure so that she can move on from this breakup that has been like a living hell for her.

Now, I want you to picture my face on that woman. Because that’s exactly what I was doing not too long ago. That was me. I was on my bed – and that wasn’t just one night. That was a series of countless sleepless nights that I spent awake thinking about us; thinking about you. I was the woman who was feeling emotionally distraught and downtrodden. I was the woman who was emotionally broken. I had to endure so many months of you making me feel worthless and undervalued.

I had to endure so many months of you treating me like absolute crap. I had to endure so many months of you just not giving me the love, security, affection, care, and consistency that I needed from you to feel safe. I had to endure so many months of you taking me for granted even when I was ready to just give you everything I had.

But despite all of that, I just want to let you know that I carry no hatred in my heart. Instead, I carry gratitude. At this moment of writing, I am no longer angry. I am no longer upset. I am no longer mad or bitter. I want you to know that at this moment, I am free from the emotional hold that you used to have over me. At this moment, I only have one thing for what you were to me: gratitude. I want to thank you; not for everything that you did to me, but for all the lessons that I had to force myself to learn when I was with you.

After having to endure so many months of you just manipulating and abusing me until I had nothing left to give, I came to the realization that none of it was my fault. I learned that the problem wasn’t with me after all; but rather, it was all with you. You were the toxic one between the two of us. You were the problematic one. You were the one who had so many issues and demons that just needed addressing.

You were the one who wasn’t right in the head. I am at a point in my life wherein I am slowly emerging back into the light after being stuck for so long in the dark hole that you put me in. I am now free of the shackles and chains that you bound me to. I am now constantly reminding myself every day of how I am far from the woman who you saw me as; and that I always deserve the best in life.

I now know that I am enough; that I am deserving of the best things that life has to offer. And that’s all because of you. So, that’s why in spite of it all; in spite of everything that you and I have been through, I am thankful.

It’s because of you that I know to ALWAYS a demand for more; that I always need to be fighting for what I want; that I should never settle for anything less than I deserve. I now know that I deserve someone who is never going to lie to me; someone who isn’t going to manipulate me with deceit and dishonesty. I now know that I deserve someone who is always going to show appreciation and gratitude for everything that I do in the relationship.

I now know that I deserve to be with someone who isn’t going to break my heart on a daily basis; someone who is going to do whatever it takes to take care of me. I now know that I deserve to be with someone who is always going to prioritize my sense of happiness and well-being; someone who doesn’t feed into my insecurities and fears.

I now know that I am deserving of someone who will never capitalize on my weaknesses. I know that I deserve someone who is going to bring out the best in me; someone who makes me stronger.

I now know, because of you, that I deserve to be with someone who loves me for me.

  1. Hi.. Im going through something like this an a little worse. I wish I had the courage an strenght to walk away. I’m always about family

  2. for 30 years I am a prisoner of love that I am almost to surrender but upon reading your story really GOD is good i am awaken and realized that someone beside me ,in front of me deserve my love and respect the person who give me his name my husband ,indeed its a goodbye to the one i treasure and have my heart for 30 years captivated now i know that everything happens has a reason ,now i learn to smile and have the courage to face reality life is beautiful if your heart and mind is clean and pure . Thank you for the tears that GOD answered my prayers AMEN . so with the article To The Person Who Emotionally Killed Me . I am very much grateful .GOD bless you

  3. You kniw my wife left me in Oct of 2019 said awful things abpit me took my kids hid for 5 months and that whole time I went crazy as hell but I got to thinkin when i went to NC to pic her and our four of six kids because two of them she let stay at her sisters shes acting like her life was a liveing hell but i kept her on a pedistool and praised her she acted like i was constantly abomuseive now on drugs ibwas shitty but I’m sober and it was a hard road ti get here but the famiky she stays with is my family and yhey all swear I’m still on drugs cus im. Blutly honest and they get mad im sorry i didn’t need a clinic like my sister and I did it on my owb so they think im still useibg and my wife only listens to them we have six kids 15 years i think a chance is in order

  4. I’m glad this gentleman was able to get away from you before you destroyed him. Please seek serious mental help before engaging in another relationship.

  5. Hi! Kudos to all women who silently fought and overcome battles like this. Always remember that we are living to be happy and this shouldn’t be stolen from us by something or someone. We are made not to have a easy path but experience like this makes you stronger and helps you grow with a bigger heart. Stay strong! 🙂

  6. I had this happen to me not to long ago, the roles were reversed though, but I am stronger than I have ever been, still very much open to love, rebuilding yourself is no easy task and requires a lot of courage to pull yourself back together, I am grateful on how things worked out, inadvertently, she made me a better person, I am thankful for her, I would never have met my wife if I didn’t go through everything I did.

    Keep going, life will reward you, just don’t harden your heart to love.

  7. My experience has taught me that women seem to actively seek reasons to feel abused, used,under-appreciated, and suspicious. It’s almost institutional masochism.

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