The emotionally abusive or manipulative people have certain things in common. Their highly toxic behavior cannot be easily detected. They intend to change your perspective about certain things by using manipulative tricks through deceptive and dishonest assertions.
The manipulator tends to change the person’s personality traits through psychological pressures. It is not as simple as your innocent tricks you play to order your favorite food for dinner, but they are somewhat progressive and gradual. They do not impose an individual perception, for the time being. Instead, they wish you to follow their thoughts and ideas for the rest of their life, and that’s quite scary if you think about it.
We need to understand that the manipulative people do not always intend to harm you but instead they have an increased tendency to make people do just as they desire, sometimes unconsciously. It’s an act based on instinct. Something they would consider to be a part of their daily routine.
Most of the time, we neglect manipulative behavior by considering it to be a valid opinion or a positive insight into something. We need to understand that not every idea that we come across, especially those which are enforced as a potential ‘solution’ rather than a suggestion is not in our best favor.
There are some ways we can help you look out for those people who are basically not the source of all the positivity in your personality; yes we are talking about the manipulative people you hold dear to yourself maybe?
1. They are providing a rationale for everything
You will always find manipulative people giving an explanation for everything that has ever happened around them; for you and for them. They still find a way to put things to make an account in their favor. You need to understand that there are a time and place for everything. If someone is readily available to provide justification for things that have gone wrong, you need to get away from them.
2. They are trying to cover-up their degrading jokes
If you have someone who first insults you, and lightens up your mood by saying that it was just a joke and it isn’t anything serious, you need to reconsider why you’re with them. People who genuinely care for you will not insult you regularly in a harmful and hurtful manner.
3. They are not ready to directly answer your problem
You will find manipulative people always circling around your issue, and never answering your question directly. Their responses are still redirected to be an option, but mostly in a cynical way. Which leads you to one direction only, and that too without adding their ‘idea’ of it, making you think that it is you who have chosen the particular solution.
4. They try to make you feel bad for your behavior
They will always have a problem with the way you act and behave around them. They will pinpoint your actions and keep finding useless issues in them. You will go all conscious around them about your behavior and what you want to say. You can’t be a free bird around them. They will keep on making themselves look perfect, and you are the ones with all the faults and errors.
5. They always make you feel guilty for the things they do
They make a blunder, but you are the culprit. They spoil something for themselves or for you, but you will be the one receiving the backlash. You should be the one aware of everything. You should be the one trying to make everything perfect, whereas they will enjoy being careless. Manipulators will somehow turn the pointer towards you.
6. They always play the victim, because it’s never their fault!
They can never be the ones at fault. They are the ones who can never make a mistake. Even if they spoil something, they will have reasons to justify it or blame others. It is never their fault that they couldn’t submit work on time. Instead, it is their boss’ fault to overburden them with work. It is never their fault for reaching late somewhere after leaving ten minutes before for the venue but the traffic’s fault to come in their way. Such people are just unbearable.
Such people sometimes get on our nerves. We do not understand how to bear their childish and ignorant behavior. However, around such people, you need to keep your calm. You need to stay composed and not let their immaturity get to the best of you. Do not fall prey to their manipulation. Remind yourself that they are trying to mess with your peace. Either try to communicate or sort this out with them to same a friendship or relationship or protect yourself from such toxic behavior.