We Didn’t Last But That Doesn’t Mean You Weren’t Special

And it turns out, I was wrong.

We didn’t last. We didn’t make it to the finish line. We didn’t necessarily get the fairytale ending that we both wanted. We weren’t meant to be with one another. We weren’t and still aren’t soulmates. But that doesn’t mean that I’m not grateful for the short time that we had together. That doesn’t mean I’m not thankful for the brief period in time wherein we both thought we owned the world. I want to let you know that I’m deeply appreciative of the fact that you let me fall in love with you. And I also want to thank you for allowing yourself to be vulnerable; for allowing yourself to fall for me as well. 

I just want to say that I really appreciate how you just allowed me to be my regular old self; how you never pressured me into being or acting a certain way just for you. You always made me feel accepted and valued. You always made me feel like you were happy with the way that things were. And I was happy too. I want to tell you that I’m grateful with how you constantly supported me with my goals and dreams. You always backed me with my ambitions and my little milestones even when it was difficult for you to do so. I want to tell you that I’m grateful how you always had my back; how you always made sure to let me know that you would help me back up whenever I fall.

We didn’t last, but I still want to thank you for being an important part of my life.

In hindsight, I have grown to understand and accept why you and I just weren’t built to last. In spite of our comfort and happiness with one another, some things just aren’t meant to be and that’s okay. From the moment we walked into each other’s lives, the odds were stacked against us, but we still tried our best. And I regret nothing. I don’t consider it a waste of time. You were a necessary (and very welcome) step in my life that I needed to take. 

We were working on borrowed time and I’m fairly sure that you and I made the most of it. That’s why I can say that I have no regrets with our being together. We took it seriously. We didn’t play around. We tried our best and that’s all anyone can really ever do. We fell in love and we did whatever we could to make things work. We took all of the criticisms and the outside chatter and we said we didn’t care. We knew what we wanted. And even though things didn’t work out the way that we originally wanted them to; I can say on behalf of the both of us that I was one hell of a run.

I was devastated that things had to end. I went through my usual grieving process. I didn’t want to let you go. I didn’t want to let us go. I felt like a huge part of me was being taken away from my life when we had to end things. My mind was bombarded with a million hypotheticals. I couldn’t stop thinking about the things I could have done better in the relationship. I couldn’t stop wondering about the things that we could have been had we only tried harder with one another. I had a cut in my heart that I thought only you could heal. But it healed by itself over time. But now it’s a wound. It’s a scar that’s never going to go away. It doesn’t hurt anymore. But it still has your name attached to it. And it’s going to be there until the end of time. I’ve let you go but that doesn’t mean that I’ve forgotten about you. People have to know that it’s possible to move on without necessarily forgetting.

I thought that you were going to be the one person I was going to spend the rest of my waking days with. And it turns out, I was wrong. And I may have been upset with it at the time when we ended. But that doesn’t mean that I regret whatever time we spent on one another.

Just because you and I didn’t end up lasting, I don’t want you to think that that means I saw you as someone who was insignificant. I don’t want to downplay the importance of the role that you played on my life. I don’t want you to falsely believe that you weren’t a person of worth to me. You meant so much to me. And in fact, you still do. It’s just that we can be what we really need to be for one another. And that’s okay. 

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