Are you a lesson or a blessing?
No meetings are ever by accident. We have to be able to add purpose and structure to everything that we do and everything that happens to us in this life. We always have to be able to attach meaning to everything. That’s the only way we can really try to make sense of everything as we go along with our growth and development as individuals. You have to be able to extract some kind of meaning or reason as to why a person walks into your life – regardless if it’s a positive or negative one. Because that’s the truth: no one ever just walks into your life by accident. No one is just randomly there. They are there to play a role the same way that you play a role in the lives of others. And sometimes, these roles aren’t good – and you have to be okay with that.
There is always going to be a very specific reason as to why a person might walk in and out of your life. It doesn’t matter how long you might have had a relationship with one another. It doesn’t matter if you knew that the time that you had together was merely temporary. It hurts whenever someone meaningful is just forced to walk out of your life. But it also hurts to accommodate someone in your life who only happens to bring torment and despair. And in some weird way, meeting these people can feel like a curse. But no. You shouldn’t see it like that. They were lessons you needed to learn.
You have to remember that you are the one who gives power to the meaning that you attach to the people who come and go in your life. And if you treat people like they are curses, then they are going to curse you even long after they’re gone. And you don’t want that for yourself. You have to be able to extract something positive from the negative. You have to be able to gain something from that loss. You have to be able to draw a lesson from the abandonment. And that’s the secret to finding meaning in the people who you come across in your everyday life.
The people who walk into your life are always going to be people who will be able to expose you to new perspectives; these are people who will offer you vast opportunity for growth and personal expansion. And it’s up to you to actually take advantage of these opportunities.
And of course whenever these people decide to walk out of our life, our attachment to them makes us sad. We don’t want to let them go because we became so invested in accommodating them into our lives in the first place. We get so caught up in wanting to establish a sense of permanence to all of the meaningful people in our lives; but we fail to remember that maybe their purpose was to be temporary after all. Maybe the fact that they’re leaving us is the meaning that they give to our lives. And that’s the kind of mindset that we need. That’s the kind of profound outlook that we must always maintain when we are grieving our losses.
We have to realize that not every single relationship is designed to be grand, beautiful, and sustainable. Not all people are going to walk into our lives and stay there for as long as we desire. But what these people can do is provide us with valuable perspective. They offer us valuable lessons that we never would have learned otherwise. There are some people who walk into our lives just to give us perspective on what is right and wrong.
Some people walk into our lives to teach us how to love. Some people walk into our live to teach us the difference between love and attachment. Some people walk into our lives to show us just how important it is to love ourselves. And that’s not to say that these people are going to play permanent roles in your life. They have their own lives to live after all. And so do you.
So yes, it’s okay to grieve whenever a relationship that you have with someone doesn’t exactly turn out the way that you originally wanted it to. It’s okay to be upset whenever someone you love has to disappoint you and walk out on you. It’s okay to let go of relationships so that you can pave the way for even newer friendships. It’s okay to feel all of these negative feelings that come with abandonment. But what isn’t okay is if you fail to see the lessons and blessings that these people leave behind in your life.
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If you enjoyed reading this, you’ll love our new mini-book! my journey to self-discovery. “From Hating My Life to Loving Every Minute” is my own memoir, my own experiences jotted down on paper. Will you let yourself be happy?
“This book surpassed my expectations. Good things do come in small packages!” – Kate Renee