There’s never a right time for finding love in your life, in fact, on a positive note, love can find you at any given time. The search for love is particularly difficult and tricky for confused, restless, love-hungry young adults of this age. Often, we hear girls in their 20s whining about the hot mess that their love life is, that it is all over the place, and they’re always asking that one dark question: “will I ever even find love?”. Seriously, the one thing that we can consider as the absolute worst plague of all time in the realm of relationships is hands down, the “casual dating” phenomenon we have seemed to invent with time.
The entire concept of conventional dating and getting into a relationship with someone has been watered down to nothing more than just “hanging out” and “chilling together”. We have now, knowingly or unknowingly confined the idea of relationships to literally just having a thing for each other and apparently, it’s very unflattering to expect a proper relationship with someone upon liking them. Before getting into a proper relationship, you’ve got to go through a series of casual hangouts, behave something like friends with benefits, you’re neither friends nor a couple but you’re just hanging somewhere in the middle of both of those things.
It becomes necessary to be okay with being in an open relationship because it’s expected of you, it’s become the norm, but don’t do it. Don’t fall for it and don’t let your next dating scene go down this road of uncertainty so you’re not stuck just “chilling out” with the person you just intended to date, that doesn’t have to happen again.
If everything they say starts and ends with “if you want to”, don’t do it:
Don’t consider his half-baked invites that start and end with “you know, only if you want to” as a genuine effort to have you around. If he generally says “if you want to” “it is up to you” “if you say so” too much around you, if he’s just leaving everything to you like he’s barely interested, like he’ll only get off his lazy, unconcerned ass if he’s really made to do it and not because he truly wants to do something with and for you, turn it down right there, no questions asked. Don’t let him play those petty tricks to make you get into something of an open relationship with him.
You need to shut your door on anything that’s less than heartfelt and honest. That’s exactly the strategy he’ll use to keep you hanging in the future, nothing will be definitive, there will be zero clarity and you will automatically be expected to join the pieces of the puzzle together. If you’re looking for a real, reliable relationship don’t go for someone who makes you look needy while he’s the one sitting back and waiting on you to get things going. That’s a no-go zone for you.
Don’t take his bullsh*t:
There’s no reason for you to put up with his behavior if it’s rubbing you the wrong way. When he gives you any type of bullsh*t, make sure to throw it right back in his face so he knows you’re not the one to be with if he wants to act like he’s still struggling with teen angst. If he can’t seem to put an end to the whole “we’re just hanging out for now” “maybe we’re a thing, maybe we’re not, I’m not sure” scenario then tell him that’s not what you signed up for not to mention that’s it’s a huge turn off. Let him know you’re looking for something real and for someone who is on the same page about it as you are. He can leave if he can’t relate. The power to make or break your love life is your own hands, use it.
Be very clear about what you’re looking for:
Don’t just be silent about what you want from him. Be straight up and make yourself clear instead of waiting in hopes that he’ll just get the hint. Make sure he’s been made very aware of your demands and expectations. Don’t leave any room for doubts and second-guesses. Once you’ve done that, if he’s still being difficult, if he’s under the impression that you will compromise on his insensitivity, you need to be quick and leave him without even trying to reason with him. Don’t be so nice to him that you begin to put your true desires behind you, so you can successfully please him. Know that he won’t stop making you give in to his plans of “hanging out” with you till the end of time. Tell him you don’t screw around, you need someone who’s going to man up and get committed to you. If that sends a dude running, let him.
