Men can be complicated, too.
Since the beginning of time, men and women were created separate and hence, lived separate lives. Separate not as in isolated physically, however, there are certain aspects of one gender which the other gender cannot understand. They can try, take part in their joy, sympathize with them, but they can’t say that they completely ‘get it’. It’s simple really, even in the 21st century you can’t think that every element of gender bias has been completely eradicated from society. Everyone knows that.
What they don’t know (or choose not to acknowledge) is that men are often faced with certain circumstances which people overlook since, well, they’re men and as shallow as that statement might sound, it is how it is.
Here are some of the things which men feel or are face throughout their lives which a woman can never fully understand.
1) Sexism can go both ways:
This might be something that women can understand in regards to feeling it themselves; however, the scenario for men is entirely different. Men are constantly told to ‘man up’ which, to be honest, is the dumbest thing to say to a man. Like, you’re telling me to man up, what EXACTLY are you implying here? Are men somehow supposed to just bear it all and act like they’re fine with whatever people throw their way since they’re ‘men’?
If a woman thinks that people constantly making them feel like they’re fragile creatures is sexist, try feeling like you aren’t even supposed to feel anything at all. Oh, and do I even need to go on about sexist ad campaigns where you promote an unrealistic body image for US? How is that okay? Why is everything okay since it’s about a man? I can almost bet that you’ve never seen men complain about sexism. Not because they haven’t faced any in their lives, but because you can’t retaliate if you’re a man or else everyone else will retaliate and tell you to ‘man up’. So we just keep it to ourselves.
2) People think that if men interact with kids, they’re pedophiles:
Sounds harsh, huh? It’s true though. Almost once in every man’s life he will be constantly given suspicious stares if he shows affection to a random kid. Men can also find kids cute too and not have an ulterior motive. Everyone needs to understand that by thinking men are nothing more than pedophiles if they come near your kid, you’re basically increasing the stereotype for all men above a certain age who are alone in public spaces. Which leads me to the next point…
3) Male stereotypes are increasing by the day:
Have you ever noticed the fact that all men are either considered to be perverts or pedophiles if you think they aren’t attractive enough? Or how the attractive men are considered as the perfect human beings on the planets? Men are stereotyped so much it’s actually gotten to a point where it’s downright upsetting.
Women standing up against stereotypes are thought of as brave people doing something against stereotyping. THEY ARE! However, reverse the roles and you’ll find a few men holding signs with a crowd pointing and laughing at them and telling them, you guessed it, ‘man up’.
4) We aren’t allowed to display any emotion besides contentment:
If a guy is mad at a girl, people immediately sympathize with her without knowing what’s going on. If a girl is mad at a guy, people walk way like it’s nobody’s business. Honestly, it isn’t anyone’s business, but if you make it your mission to defend the girl then why not the guy? Society look at women as someone who can be filled with emotions and look at the man who can’t be angry or sad. Society needs to stop its BS assumptions about both genders since it isn’t always like that.
5) Guys have almost no emotional support:
Men who actually overcome their stereotypical image and display their feelings of sadness or loneliness etc, are faced with another problem: they have no emotional support. You might think that it’s because they aren’t with the right person that’s why, but the truth is that no one can fully support them. Sure they’ll blurt out a few words of advice and sympathy, but they’ll just expect you to be fine with it in some time and move on.
When something bad happens, people look for a shoulder to cry on. Men are never given a shoulder, instead a kick to the ass so that they’ll stop ‘whining’. This genuinely happens when people expect men to forget about whatever it might be and go on with their lives as if nothing ever happened.
6) We’re always told that it’s ‘our job’:
Sometimes you feel like no matter where you get to in life, you get zero validation. From your education, to your job and to your personal life, things are sort of expected from you. People think that you had to get a job, a house and an income. If you don’t get them, then you’re viewed as a failure. Basically you can either be big and get no appreciation or be nothing and become everyone’s disappointment. There is no in between.
People don’t acknowledge the burden which comes with this ideology of being a man. Men have to keep in whatever problems they face since all they’ve ever been told was to do that. Even if they try revealing their feelings, some people just brush it off. No matter what you do is ever good enough, but do one thing wrong and the world will be at your throat. Even today, a stay-at-home dad is considered as the lowest of all lows a man can get to. They won’t see that the woman is the bread-winner, oh no. They’ll just assume that you were either too lazy or too unqualified for a job so you got ‘stuck with this’.
7) We hardly ever get complimented:
Men don’t get complimented as frequently as women do and if we do, for a second we’ll just sit in silence while our brains try to figure out whether that was meant in sarcasm or was genuine compliment.
Even if a guy gets all dressed up for a night out, he won’t even consider the possibility of him being appreciated for the effort he put in to look good for the night. If he’s with his date, she won’t compliment him no matter what even if she’s thinking of a few. The reason is simple: do men even like compliments? Yes, yes we do.
8) No one ever asks us out:
We might get flirted with and even get hints that someone wants to go out with us, but we’re always the first to ask. It’s a common notion that a man has to ask a woman out. In very rare cases a woman might ask the man out, but even she’s met with weird looks since that isn’t perceived as the norm.
Honestly, it sometimes makes a man feel unwanted. If we make the first move, we’ll ask you out. However, if you’ve been flirting with me for the past hour or so and I’ve flirted back, then what’s so wrong in asking me put first? Why does it have to be that if till the night ends, I don’t ask you out, you’ll just go.
9) Being self-conscious is a crime:
Women aren’t the only beings who can be self-conscious. Men can be almost as self-conscious as women sometimes (if not more). Men are just better at not displaying it. As I’ve already mentioned above, women never ask men out on dates. Hence, men always have to make the first move. The most a woman will do is hint that she’d like to go out with the guy, but not do it herself.
Now, since women are so often the ones being asked on dates and not the ones asking to go out on dates, they don’t really look around for anyone they might find attractive to ask out. If someone finds them attractive, they’ll approach them. If a man is self-conscious, you can be certain that this whole process of asking someone out terrifies him for fear of being rejected. Nonetheless, you’re automatically labeled as vain and/or feminine if you display your insecurities.
10) We aren’t allowed to just think:
‘What are you thinking about?’
Yes! Yes, I’m sure! Sometimes all we’re doing is staring blankly into space and thinking of random things such as movies or what not. No, I’m not thinking of something devious. No, I wish not to share with you what I’m thinking about. No, it isn’t because it’s bad, I literally just said that. No, you canвЂ™t press for me to tell you, mainly because it’s so random I don’t know how to explain it. No, don’t get upset.
11) We can be sexually harassed, too:
Sexually harassing someone is a crime, but apparently only if you appear to be physically weaker than the harasser. I’ve seemed countless men being sexually harassed by random women who either think that they’re flirting or know that they’re not. These women think that any retaliation from the man is a sign that he’s weak. What’s weak in feeling uncomfortable that your disgusting hands are near me?
The biggest problem here is the fact that people think the men should ‘enjoy’. First of all, unwanted touching or cat calling ( yeah, it can happen to guys too) is probably never enjoyable. You feel what it’s like and then get back to me.
12) Growing up a man is not easy:
You are constantly viewed as a threat and a creep simply for being at a place. First of all, men are told to either toughen up or appear a certain way or else they’ll be viewed as weak. Secondly, if you appear that way then you’re automatically viewed as a threat. These two things are uncompromisable. You aren’t allowed to look ‘weak’ and thus non-threatening without being constantly mocked and taunted. Yet, if you do look the male part, you’re kicked out of clubs; have to give more information than any female while going anywhere just because other people view you as a threat to their safety.
What is it exactly that people want us to do? Nothing we do is considered to be alright with everyone. There’ll always be at least one person who’ll want us to change. However, if you change according to that personвЂ™s needs, someone else will want you to change and the cycle repeats itself.
13) Women can attack us all they want and we can’t say anything:
This isn’t true for all women, it’s actually true for only a handful, but the point is directed at how everyone perceives it. I’m pretty sure that you’ve seen ‘social experiments’ on YouTube where they reverse roles i.e a man is the abuser is scene one and then a woman in scene two. If you have seen them, you probably know that when the woman is the abuser, people turn a blind eye to the couple.
Men are told to bear it. They’re told that they can’t feel anything since they’re physically stronger. Well, if that’s the case then can I hit her if she’s hitting me? Oh no, no! If you do that then you’ll be the abuser. But, everyone saw that it was her and not me. Yeah well, you’re stronger.
Talk to me
Men, do you agree with this article? Share your thoughts with me in the comments below!