If you often wonder if your partner is keeping you as a backup option, it’s essential to pay attention to what’s happening in your relationship. Does he forget to call you or ignore you when you need him? If he’s acting distant and unkind, you might not be his top choice. But then, who is?
There are signs that you might be his second choice. If you realize you’re not his first choice, it’s time to take control and change things. Instead of worrying if you’re his backup plan, you can take steps to improve your situation.
Here are some of the things you can do to improve your situation:
1. Risk-Assessment
Love can be uncertain, like taking a risk. There’s no sure way to know if our efforts will lead to the results we want. Sometimes, we can invest a lot in one person, only to have them change their feelings about us. But that’s what makes love exciting and challenging. However, being someone’s second choice is not fun. So, before you make any big decisions, take a closer look at the situation. Identify the behaviors or signs that are making you wonder if you’re just a backup plan to him.
2. Consider his feelings towards you
Has he told you he loves you, or is he mainly looking for sex? If you’re his backup lover, he might only contact you when he wants physical intimacy. If you’re unsure, you can do some simple tests to check his interest. Plan a spontaneous and enjoyable date and see if he makes an effort or is satisfied with how things are. To know if he’s really into you, try to understand his feelings deeply.
3. Realize your own worth
The most important thing is to believe in yourself. If you have your own self-esteem issues, it can be hard to see when someone is not being truthful with you. Instead of wondering, “Am I just an option for him?” tell yourself, “I deserve to be someone’s first choice.” Having self-confidence and valuing yourself is crucial when deciding to walk away from someone who is playing with your feelings.
4. Confront him
If you want to avoid being someone’s second choice, you have to assert yourself. If you feel like you’re not being treated well and are always uncertain about his true feelings, it’s time to break this pattern. Have a conversation with him and ask what he really wants from you. He might try to make excuses to keep you around, but you need to be wise about it.
5. See through the lies
If you think you’re a second choice and your boyfriend loves someone else, trust your instincts. When you talk to him about it, he might say anything to make you stay, even if it’s not true. In this situation, it’s important to stay confident and not fall for his tricks. Don’t keep wondering if you’re just a backup. Show him you know what’s going on and ask him to be accountable for his actions.
6. Reflect on your own choices
If you’re in a relationship where you often feel like you’re not the top choice, it could be a sign that you need some help too. When you accept a relationship that’s not great, it’s partly your responsibility. You might be feeling unsure about yourself or carrying past emotional baggage. It’s important to figure out why you ended up in a situation like this.
7. Walk right out and do not look back
When you feel like you’re not the top choice in a relationship, it’s crucial to leave before you get stuck in confusing emotions. Decide beforehand that this situation won’t work, and end the relationship quickly. You should not try to fix things with a person who does not make you his priority.
Have you ever felt like you’re being kept as a backup instead of a priority in a relationship? Share your thoughts and advice in the comments below!
