If you have ever tried being cheated on in the past, then you definitely know just how hard it is to trust any other person you come across in this life. You are going to end up doubting the sincerity and authenticity of any person that you might meet. And that’s just a natural response to being cheated on. You placed your trust in a person before and you had your trust betrayed. It’s expected that you would be feeling scared and traumatized after an experience like that.
And that kind of trauma can lead you to be less trusting of the people who walk into your life. You are going to find excuses to push people away even before you get a chance to get close to them. Whenever you see a red flag, you’re going to let that serve as an excuse to just walk away from a relationship before it even begins. When you feel a little paranoid, you will take that as a message from your gut telling you that you might be in for trouble.
Even when you happen to meet someone who doesn’t seem to have any flaws; a person who isn’t exhibiting any of the red flags that you are trying to look out for, there is a chance that you’re still going to freak out. You are going to wonder why someone could be so perfect and flawless. You’re going to see that person as acting fake because, in your mind, everyone has a dark side. You get the sense that even though they’re acting nicely now, they’re going to change the moment that you give them your trust. And you don’t want to give them that power over you. You don’t want to give them a chance to hurt you and so you withhold your trust entirely.
If you have ever been cheated on by someone you loved, then you know that that can severely alter your personality and the way that you see life. You know that it’s likely you’re going to become a lot more cynical after being cheated on. You’re just going to assume that every single person in this world is evil. You’re going to start to think that everyone is selfish. You’re going to believe that you are just bound to get hurt if you give anyone the chance to do so. You just think that every single relationship is bound to implode because of how inherently toxic human beings are. You are going to warn your friends and you will tell them to always stay guarded. You tell everyone you care about to be extra careful. You tell them to just not bother being vulnerable towards their partners because they are going to end up getting betrayed. Whenever you see a seemingly healthy and happy couple just strolling along the street, you secretly give them an expiry date in your own mind. You try to guess how long it’s going to be before they actually break up. The dark part of your personality is just going to assume that nothing lasts forever – that all relationships are destined to end no matter how strong or healthy they might seem.
You have already been cheated on in the past. You tried to guard your heart to the best of your abilities. You considered your heart to be the most precious thing in your life. But still, you got hurt because you allowed yourself to get reckless with your love. And so now, you genuinely believe that you know better. You don’t want to be foolish or reckless ever again. You don’t want to put yourself in a position to be hurt by ANYONE. You don’t allow any person to get close to you. You are practically allergic to intimacy in all its forms and degrees. You don’t allow yourself to become attached or invested in anyone. You don’t let yourself get your hopes up on any person or on any relationship at this point. You believe that you would only be setting yourself up for disappointment by doing so. You say that you want to take a very realistic view of the world and relationships. However, the truth is that you are more pessimistic than anything else. You think that you’re only protecting yourself when the truth is that you are depriving yourself of the love that you could be experiencing.
The thing about love is that it’s never going to be a sure thing. It’s never going to be a certainty. There is always a chance that you will get hurt. However, what you should also know about love is that it’s always worth that risk. Love is the one thing in this world that is worth taking a chance on.