Why “Almost Relationships” Hurt The Hardest

A lot of us have been there. We’ve tried getting into those love affairs that just quite didn’t go all the way. They were the relationships that really weren’t. They were just almost relationships. They can be the most stressful kinds of relationships and they often reap the least rewards. They are the ones that just take out huge chunks of your heart without giving anything in return. They never give us a semblance of structure or security. They never have any consistency or stability. Regular relationships have their ups and downs but almost-relationships are practically emotional rollercoasters. They are the kinds of relationships that bring out a lot of passion within us, but they never give us the feeling of being safe.

The first time I got the chance to experience an almost relationship, I was fairly young. I was fairly foolish. I didn’t know what I was doing. I had had some kind of experience in love before but I was still being thrust into a new world. I didn’t know what I was feeling. This was new territory for me. I didn’t know how to deal with it.

What a lot of people realize about almost relationships after they’re done with them is that reality never meets expectations. They never go into these vague relationships thinking that it’s going to be vague. They always have the best intentions and the most idealistic expectations. However, the universe just has a way of throwing reality right in our faces. When it comes to love, it’s only natural for us to always want more. We always want to be receiving just as much as we’re giving. However, with most relationships, that is never the case. You are never left satisfied, but you are still left hooked.

The thing is even when you’re in an almost relationship, you are still continually blinded by reality until it ends. They say that hindsight is always 20/20 but it doesn’t really make any sense as to why people lose their self-awareness in these almost relationships. Maybe it’s because they try their best to maintain their optimism; maybe their idealism just gets the best of them. Their hopefulness is what betrays them. We all try our best to make the best out of the love we’re given regardless of whether it’s real or not. – Continue reading on the next page

This is my story: I met a pretty girl back in college and so I wasn’t exactly new to the game, but I still had much to learn. I was just minding my own business in a nearby cafe where a lot of scholars used to frequent for study breaks in between classes. The place is usually jammed and so sometimes, strangers will have to share tables. I just so happened to have an empty seat at my table and she asked if she could join me. I was so taken aback by her beauty; the beauty of her smile is as vivid in my mind now as it was on that bright sunny day. I tried my best to play it cool. I cracked a few jokes here and there and I tried to make her as comfortable as possible. She kept smiling at me and I remember thinking to myself that that was a good sign. Our conversations that day were sporadic, but they were easy. We were seamlessly jumping from one topic to the next; always on full-swing. We were operating on our own wavelengths. Our connection was palpable. That was the start. Fast forward to a couple of weeks later, and we’re kind of dating already.

I was confident. I knew that we had a good thing going. I was comfortable knowing that we had a good future ahead of us. We had a lot of early relationship milestones. We held hands as I walked her back to her dorm room. We shared our first kiss on a park bench. We laughed. We ate. We enjoyed each other’s company. Everything was going so well. I was on cloud 9. This was a kind of feeling that I had never experienced in previous relationships.

So imagine the shock and surprise that overtook my life when things started to take a turn. Slowly, I could feel that she was cutting me off. I could feel that she was gradually becoming colder and more distant over time. We ended up not seeing each other so much anymore, but still, I persisted. I tried to tell myself that maybe you were just going through something difficult and that we would get back to normal. You didn’t cut me off completely, you kept me on a leash.

You gave me just enough to leave me wanting for more. You never gave it all to me though. It became a hopeless journey. I was committing myself to something that wasn’t even real. I was smitten by a woman who barely gave me any attention. I was invested in a relationship that didn’t even exist.

And it hurt.

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