Some people give too much importance to their ego.
Have you ever had a big fight with someone and you are sure of the fact that it wasn’t you who was responsible, but you still found yourself apologizing to them? Is that an ego problem? Well, there are many factors that might contribute to such behavior and at the end of the day, life becomes an act of letting go. Sometimes, harboring all the guilt inside you might be quite toxic to your entire body and mind, and affect your mental stability.
Non-apologists have a hard time dealing with regret, and acceptance always comes hard to them because of their past or the conflicting circumstances they have faced in their lives.
Here are some reasons why some people find it hard to apologize.
It’s less about forgiving others and more about forgiving themselves
As I mentioned above, some people find it hard to fight with all the regret they might shelter inside them. It might be because in the past, they have opened up to someone and accepted their mistakes but they haven’t earned any sort of clemency or forgiveness and this has led them to a conclusion that being apologetic just isn’t worth it.
They can’t deal with all the regret when someone just doesn’t want to forgive them. There are always two sides to a coin and forgiveness is something that exalts us in rank. I’m in no way taking sides with such people but, to me, forgiveness has always been something that sets both the persons involved in the conflict free. I know it’s hard to just forgive someone whose been given you nothingness but you shouldn’t give anyone the gift of hating them. Trust me; it’s just not worth it at the end of the day.
Some people are just plain bad
There are some people who just have a shallow personality and are highly egotistical and full of false pride that forces them to reject their shortcomings and mistakes. They will make you feel sorry for yourself. Have you ever been in a relationship where you’ve done everything right and given your partner nothing less than perfection and still have always been held culpable for the failure of the relationship in the end? Well, these kinds of people will always make you feel this way and play the victim all the time just so that it doesn’t hurt their so-called ‘pride’.
Non-apologists are just pretending or are completely unaware
Non-apologists are sometimes delusional and unaware of their mistakes or are very good at the art of faking it. Has anyone ever asked you what’s wrong when you’re sad or angry? When you have proceeded on to tell them that it’s them that turned your mood off, they act completely surprised and start to play the blame game. This incites anger in them and they just stat to pour all the blame on you and make you feel guilty instead. They do anything there is to shield them from any kind of blame. They are also very good at it and at the end of the day, they do succeed in making you believe that you were the one who were in fact responsible for a particular mistake. *Continue reading on next page*
They feel ashamed
While for some people being apologetic might seem like an act which would set them free from all the guilt but for non-apologists, it might be something completely different. It might be because of their upbringing or their background but they will feel shame if they accept their mistakes. They find it hard to deal with embarrassment and even if someone does forgive them, they will still feel guilty, not of accepting their mistake but from the shame that has been inflicted upon them. This will deter them from doing the same thing again in the imminent future.
Apologizing to someone and accepting your mistake is one of the most beautiful things to do as a human being. It’s your first step towards redemption and you should take all the necessary measures to take this step. There is no shame and no guilt in apologizing and accepting your shortcomings and mistakes.
Asking someone for forgiveness from the bottom of your heart is one of the purest things to do and provides you with the inner peace you surely desire. Guilt is a poison and it only spreads with time and plagues your whole body. It turns you into someone you are not and masks your true potential from the outside world. If you want to be a better person and have pave the path for a better future ahead of you, then please forgive others and yourself as well. Acceptance is essential for individual growth.
Talk to me
Have you ever met a non-apologist? Have they changed your life in some manner? Let me know in the comments down below!